Grim Fandango Dialog Transcript
© LucasArts Entertainment Company LLC. All rights reserved.



INT. High Rollers' Lounge NIGHT


Manny
Nick Virago! What are you doing working in the High Roller Lounge?

Manny
I would think Maximino's private lawyer would have his own office.

Virago
I do, but they don't serve drinks there.

Manny
Got a little lipstick on ya, Loverboy.

Virago
I already got rid of that, and I can do the same to you, Calavera...

Virago
...so if I were you I'd keep my jaw shut.

Manny
Everything all legal with the kitties?

Virago
Yes, they keep themselves pretty clean.

Manny
Who do you like in the fourth race?

Virago
Well, there's a white-footed tabby in gate two that's looking strong but has a slight eye infection...

Manny
But you think he's gonna pull out of it and win anyway, right?

Virago
No, that pus-eyed puss is going to lose!

Virago
But nobody knows--and I'm going to make a mint!

Manny
I have to tell this to someone: I hate cats.

Virago
Me too, but they keep the lights on around here.

Manny
Nick, I need a lawyer.

Virago
You get yourself in some kind of trouble, Calavera?

Manny
No, we just need someone for the dunking booth over at the club.

Virago
Funny guy.

Manny
How's tricks, Nick?

Virago
Mmm.

Manny
Virago, I REALLY need a lawyer.

Virago
What is it this time, Calavera?

Manny
Someone's claiming my roulette tables are fixed.

Virago
But your roulette tables ARE fixed.

Manny
Exactly. That's why I need a lawyer.

Virago
So...will you be needing a regular lawyer, or an EXCELLENT lawyer?

Manny
An excellent lawyer.

Virago
Any excellent lawyer... or the BEST excellent lawyer?

Manny
The very best is good enough for me.

Virago
And who would you say that would be, Calavera?

Virago
Who would you say is the BEST lawyer you know, in all the Land of the Dead?

Manny
You are, Nick.

Virago
That's right, and that's why Maximino retains me on an EXCLUSIVE basis.

Virago
So, sorry, but I don't do... "odd jobs."

Manny
How's tricks, Nick?

Virago
Mmm.

Manny
Virago, I REALLY need a lawyer.

Virago
Well, my dance card is full, so what are you gonna do?

Manny
I could tell Max about you and Olivia.

Virago
That sort of claim could send a man like Max into quite a rage.

Virago
Especially if the messenger had no proof.

Manny
Max and I are friends. He'll believe me.

Virago
People believe what they want to believe, Calavera...

Virago
...and I want to believe you're a smart man who doesn't go around spreading dangerous rumors.

Virago
I've got to go talk to Max for a moment.

Virago
When I get back, I hope you're gone, because I'm sick of looking at you.

Manny
Man, this is gonna get me in trouble.

Manny
There's something rattling inside...

Manny
It must be in a hidden compartment somewhere, but I don't see a latch or anything.


INT. Blue Casket Kitchen NIGHT


Manny
The sink is full of dirty hookah water.

Manny
I would, but it's full.

Manny
I don't want to squirt out all the hookah water here.


INT. Scrimshaw Parlor NIGHT


Manny
I don't really want to do that.

Manny
Nah, he'd see me do it!

Manny
I don't really want to do that.

Manny
Nah, he'd see me do it!


INT. High Rollers' Lounge Kitchen NIGHT


Manny
I don't really want to do that.

Manny
I don't want to squirt out all the hookah water here.


INT. High Rollers' Lounge Kitchen NIGHT


Manny
I don't really want to do that.


INT. High Rollers' Lounge Kitchen NIGHT


Manny
Nah, if I let that waiter out now, he'd have me eight-balled from the club!

Manny
I don't need any cat meat.


INT. High Rollers' Lounge NIGHT


Manny
Oh, if I had only known...

Manny
I had no idea you liked gambling so much, Glottis.

Glottis
Well, the doctors made me promise I wouldn't do it any more!

Glottis
BUT THEY CAN'T GET IN THE HIGH ROLLER'S LOUNGE, NOW CAN THEY???

Manny
Coming home soon?

Glottis
Shhh! I'm visualizing!

Manny
I don't think that would get me the key.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.


INT. Security Station NIGHT


Manny
It's locked.

Manny
Lotta paperwork.

Carla
Lotta passengers. Everybody's back home but you and me.

Carla
Hey, official documents. Don't touch.

Manny
It's a metal detector.

Carla
Oh, THAT explains why it never gets my hair dry!

Manny
Are you sure I can't just...

Carla
Don't touch!

Carla
Sir, if you will, please, place all of your belongings on the security desk...

Carla
Ah, you're clean.

Carla
Rats, Manny! I almost had to strip-search ya!

Manny
Ah, Carla.

Manny
Nice view of the giant cat litter...


INT. Cat Stable NIGHT


Manny
It says, "Revolutionary Design Leaves Can-Edges Safe and Smooth for Kitty!"

Manny
Wet food's for winners!

Manny
It says, "Revolutionary Design Leaves Can-Edges Safe and Smooth for Kitty!"

Manny
Wet food's for winners!

Manny
Great. Now it smells like a giant cat litterbox AND some sort of gelatinous, demon mystery-meat product in here!

Manny
Wet food's for winners!

Manny
Mmmm. Smells good, but I'd rather eat my own arm.

Manny
I don't think that would get me the key.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.


EXT Dock NIGHT


Manny
The can opener wouldn't work there.

Manny
The can opener wouldn't work there.


EXT Dry Docks NIGHT


Manny
The can opener wouldn't work there.

Manny
Busy bees.

Manny
Hey, why don't you guys lend me some tools so I can help out?


EXT Lighthouse NIGHT


Manny
It's locked.

Manny
The can opener wouldn't work there.


INT. High Rollers' Lounge NIGHT


Manny
The can opener wouldn't work there.

Manny
I don't think that would get me the key.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.


INT. High Rollers' Lounge Kitchen NIGHT


Manny
That is one big ol' cask of nothin!

Manny
The can opener wouldn't work there.

Manny
Looks like more of that cat meat, or whatever that is.

Manny
The can opener wouldn't work there.

Manny
Hmmm... I don't hear Rupert in there anymore...

Manny
Hmmm... I don't hear Rupert in there anymore...

Manny
Hmmm... I don't hear Rupert in there anymore...

Manny
This cask is sealed on the top, too.

Manny
Nah, if I let that waiter out now, he'd have me eight-balled from the club!

Manny
Hmmm... I don't hear Rupert in there anymore...

Manny
This cask is sealed on the top, too.

Manny
I think I could fit in there.


INT. High Rollers' Lounge NIGHT


Glottis
Well, SOMEBODY'S sleeping on the job!


INT. High Rollers' Lounge Kitchen NIGHT


Glottis
Ah! It's empty!

Glottis
Ruben! Where are you?

Glottis
Ah-ha!

Raoul
Oh, mon dieu!

Glottis
Taking a little NAP-ay-vous, eh?

Glottis
Well, LE keg is LE empty, so toot sweet, Buster!

Raoul
Yes monsieur, merci, anything you say!

Raoul
Aitor! MORE WINE!

Raoul
I'm going to fire him for ignoring my pleas, and then I believe I shall quit.

Raoul
I can never look at that pantry again...

Raoul
No man should ever be locked up in such a small, dark place.


INT. Wine Cellar NIGHT


Manny
I bet that thing's really easy to control if you're a big demon.


INT. Elevator NIGHT


Manny
Just one button on the controls...

Manny
I can't get through this door!

Manny
The kitchen's out there.

Manny
I can't get through this door!

Manny
I can't get through this door!


INT. High Rollers' Lounge Kitchen NIGHT


Manny
Looks like the pantry.


INT. Pantry NIGHT


Manny
Looks like more of that cat meat, or whatever that is.


INT. High Rollers' Lounge Kitchen NIGHT


Manny
Looks like the pantry.

Manny
Well, if I could crawl in through that spout, I could hide in there.

Manny
Nothing.


INT. Elevator NIGHT


Manny
It's the blade-control lever.

Manny
It's the blade-control lever.

Manny
It's the blade-control lever.

Manny
I bet that thing's really easy to control if you're a big demon.


INT. High Rollers' Lounge Kitchen NIGHT


Manny
Nothing.


INT. High Rollers' Lounge NIGHT


Manny
Oh, if I had only known...

Manny
Coming home soon?

Glottis
What did you say, little kitty?

Glottis
Don't talk kitty-cat! Just run, baby!

Manny
Coming home soon?

Glottis
What did you say, little kitty?

Glottis
Don't talk kitty-cat! Just run, baby!


INT. Elevator NIGHT


Manny
I can't get through this door!

Manny
I can't get through this door!

Manny
I can't get through this door!

Manny
I can't get through this door!

Manny
Not here!

Manny
Just one button on the controls...

Manny
I can't get through this door!

Manny
I can't get through this door!


INT. Dark Hallway NIGHT


Manny
I wonder what Charlie's got in here.

Manny
¡Dios mío!

Manny
It's full of Double-N tickets!

Manny
This could get a hundred souls on the Number Nine train!

Manny
Something's not right about this...

Manny
I get the feeling this suitcase belongs to someone more important than Chowchilla Charlie.


INT. Luxurious Hallway NIGHT


Charlie
Alright, Manny!

Charlie
Give me the case!

Manny
Charles, I thought we had a bargain!

Charlie
Oh, we do. But I thought I'd bring some muscle along just in case.

Manny
What's the matter, Chuck?

Manny
Can't afford to hire goons to do this sort of work for you?

Charlie
I'm all the goon I need. Now drop it!

Manny
You said it, boss.

Manny
Got a card for me?

Charlie
Here. Welcome to the union, Manny. Meetings first Tuesday of every month and-uh, don't forget to pay your dues.

Manny
Don't forget to pay my dues…

Manny
I'm a union man, now.