Grim Fandango Dialog Transcript
© LucasArts Entertainment Company LLC. All rights reserved.
INT. Casino Floor NIGHT
Manny
Hoy! Que alivio!
Manny
I can't remember the last time I had access to a men's room.
Manny
I'm okay for now.
Manny
I think this is his good side.
Manny
Going up?
Tube-Switcher Guy
This elevator goes up straight to the penthouse suite of Hector LeMans.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Mr. LeMans, he only do the business with the very select, elite clientele.
Manny
I think this is his good side.
Manny
Yeah, right!
Manny
I'm select, and I'm VERY elite!
Tube-Switcher Guy
You look like you work in a meat locker to me, pal.
Manny
These aren't my regular clothes!
Tube-Switcher Guy
Well, when you get your regular clothes, I'll give you the regular treatment.
Manny
Out of my way! I'm in SHOW BUSINESS!
Tube-Switcher Guy
What show?
Tube-Switcher Guy
Yukon Follies?
Tube-Switcher Guy
Ha ha ha!
Manny
Look, I just want you to understand that I'm totally sympathetic...
Manny
...to the extremely intense power trip you're on, but--
Tube-Switcher Guy
Beat it!
Tube-Switcher Guy
Or should I say, "MUSH?" Huh-huh!
Manny
Hey, weren't you once a tube switcher repairman?
Tube-Switcher Guy
Yeah, but they took out that whole tube system...
Tube-Switcher Guy
It kept getting jammed. Not my fault.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Now, finally, I am free to pursue my one true desire.
Manny
Elevator operation?
Tube-Switcher Guy
YES.
Manny
Johnny Thunder isn't gonna be happy about this.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Maybe Mr. Thunder needs to spend more money on wardrobe.
Manny
Johnny Thunder isn't gonna be happy about this.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Maybe Mr. Thunder needs to spend more money on wardrobe.
Manny
I can't go strolling through the halls now...I'm on the lam!
Manny
I wonder if she's intrigued by my new jaw.
Manny
Buenos días.
Meche
Back off, sleaze ball, or my husband here will bust your jaw.
Manny
Not right now.
Manny
Meche, it's me!
Meche
Manny? That's some costume!
Meche
Here...
Meche
Help me get Mr. High Roller here into this sheet so we can get out of here!
Charlie
Hey! Is that you young lady?
Charlie
I'll get you!
Meche
I'm going to punt this twerp the first chance I get!
Meche
I'm going to punt this twerp the first chance I get!
Manny
Not right now.
Manny
I'm not here to sprout anybody except Hector.
Manny
I'd better not expose my weapon in here...
Manny
Probably security cameras everywhere.
Charlie
You must be patient, my kitten, rrrrrr!
Charlie
I'll escort you to your party, just as soon as my system pays off here...
Manny
That's no way to treat an agent of the L.S.A!
Manny
There can't be too much in here.
Manny
No.
Manny
I'd better save it.
Manny
Something strange is going on under that raincoat.
Manny
Hey, what's going on under that raincoat?
Gambler
I don't know, what's going on under that makeup...
Gambler
...AGENT CALAVERA?
Manny
You? Didn't Salvador chop you in half earlier this evening?
Gambler
Yes, which has given me this glorious opportunity to serve the cause...
Gambler
...by gathering funds for the L.S.A. while stealing from our arch-enemy at the same time!
Manny
That's one dedicated soldier.
Manny
What exactly are you doing with these slot machines?
Gambler
I stick myself inside, like a finger down the throat of Hector LeMans himself!
Gambler
And I make the machine regurgitate the wealth it has devoured!
Manny
Ehhh.
Manny
There's a machine over here that seems unbeatable...
Gambler
That one with the sucker planted in front?
Gambler
Tell me when he gives up, and I'll make it cough cold change!
Manny
That's one dedicated soldier.
Manny
Don't think so.
Manny
There's a machine over here that seems unbeatable...
Gambler
That one with the sucker planted in front?
Gambler
Tell me when he gives up, and I'll make it cough cold change!
Manny
Not right now.
Manny
There can't be too much in here.
Manny
I'd better save it.
Manny
That's no way to treat an agent of the L.S.A!
Manny
I'd better not expose my weapon in here...
Manny
Probably security cameras everywhere.
Manny
Don't think so.
Manny
Don't think so.
Manny
I'd better not expose my weapon in here...
Manny
Probably security cameras everywhere.
Manny
I'm not here to sprout anybody except Hector.
Manny
Hola!
Charlie
No drinks for me, thanks!
Manny
What's Chowchilla Charlie doing here in Hector's casino?
Manny
I knew that suitcase full of counterfeit tickets wasn't his!
Manny
He always did love the slots.
Manny
I wonder if she's intrigued by my new jaw.
Manny
Er, Why do you want to get him into a sheet?
Meche
I told him there was a big toga party at the Casino Romano, but he had to wear this sheet to get in.
Meche
After he changes, you take his suit and go upstairs, get it?
Manny
Hmmm, you're trickier than I thought.
Manny
I wonder if she's intrigued by my new jaw.
Charlie
Not again!
Charlie
I'll get you!
Meche
I'm going to punt this twerp the first chance I get!
Meche
I'm going to punt this twerp the first chance I get!
Manny
I wonder if she's intrigued by my new jaw.
Manny
Not right now.
Manny
There can't be too much in here.
Manny
I'd better save it.
Manny
That's no way to treat an agent of the L.S.A!
Manny
I'd better not expose my weapon in here...
Manny
Probably security cameras everywhere.
Manny
I'm not here to sprout anybody except Hector.
Charlie
You must be patient, my kitten, rrrrrr!
Charlie
I'll escort you to your party, just as soon as my system pays off here...
Manny
I know this guy--he can play the slots for days...
Meche
He said as soon as this machine pays off, he'll come with me.
Manny
Here.
Meche
No, I've tried already, it's your turn!
Charlie
Not again!
Charlie
I'll get you!
Manny
Special assignment just in from Salvador!
Manny
Crack that machine and leave the change, right away!
Gambler
YES SIR!
Charlie
I did it! My system worked! I knew it! I told you!
Meche
That's great! Now let's go so you can buy me a drink at the Romano!
Manny
I'll meet you at the train station with the tickets.
Manny
There won't be one for me, so you'll have to go back by yourself.
Meche
I'll tell that gate keeper everything. He has to help us!
Charlie
Come, my lovely, I have another infallible system I'd like to demonstrate. Rrrrr...
Manny
Little tight in the shoulders, but at least it doesn't reek of sled dog.
Manny
I can't go strolling through the halls now...I'm on the lam!
Manny
I'm here to conduct business with Hector LeMans.
Manny
I just spoke with him on the phone, and he's expecting me.
Tube-Switcher Guy
You know Hector LeMans, eh?
Tube-Switcher Guy
Hokie-dokie! Then answer me this ONE simple question...
Tube-Switcher Guy
Uh.... okay.
Tube-Switcher Guy
How many times has Hector LeMans unsuccessfully run for Mayor?
Manny
...two.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Ooooh, sorry! Ha-ha!
Tube-Switcher Guy
I guess you don't know Hector LeMans like I know Hector LeMans.
Manny
All right. Let's go, Buddy.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Uh.... okay.
Tube-Switcher Guy
What is Hector LeMans favorite PRIME number?
Manny
...five.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Ooooh, sorry! Ha-ha!
Tube-Switcher Guy
I guess you don't know Hector LeMans like I know Hector LeMans.
Manny
All right. Let's go, Buddy.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Uh.... okay.
Tube-Switcher Guy
What is Hector LeMans' personal record for simultaneous cigar smoking?
Manny
...thirty.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Ooooh, sorry! Ha-ha!
Tube-Switcher Guy
I guess you don't know Hector LeMans like I know Hector LeMans.
Manny
All right. Let's go, Buddy.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Uh.... okay.
Tube-Switcher Guy
How many casinos does Hector LeMans own?
Manny
...nine.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Yeah, well...
Tube-Switcher Guy
...that was an easy one.
Manny
Too bad. I win.
Tube-Switcher Guy
Best two out of three.
Manny
Don't mess with me, I know Hector LeMans.
INT. Outside Hector's Office NIGHT
Manny
I'll bet Hector pauses here every day, and thinks to himself...
Manny
"Boy I wish I could see past my gut and enjoy my expensive monogrammed floor!"
Manny
Looks like Celso found his wife after all.
Manny
Celso Flores?
Manny
What are you doing in Hector LeMans' waiting room?
Celso
Oh, he sent us out here to make up our minds about his offer...
Celso
Who are you, if you don't mind me asking?
Manny
Actually, I work for Hector. He sent me to answer your questions.
Celso
Eh--I'll handle this my sweet one.
Celso
What can you tell me about these "Double-N" tickets?
Celso
This price seems much more than "double..."
Manny
It's a scam. The tickets are counterfeit. Take your money and run.
Celso
Ho ho ho!
Celso
Don't try any of that tricky "reverse psychology" on me, my friend!
Manny
Well, they COST a mint, because they SAVE you a mint.
Celso
Well I don't HAVE a mint, so what do I care?
Manny
The real question is, don't you feel that you're worth it?
Celso
I know WE'RE worth it, but are the TICKETS worth it?
Manny
What exactly are you saving your money for? A rainy day?
Manny
'Cuz let me tell you--You're dead.
Manny
Every day is rainy from now on.
Celso
Yes, but that's no reason not to be careful with your money!
Manny
Well, enough about you guys, let me tell you about my problems.
Celso
Actually we have a lot of talking we need to do so...
Manny
This makeup breathes about as much as vulcanized rubber!
Celso
Yes, but it brings out your strong jaw.
Manny
I can't raise my arms in this suit!
Celso
Well, let's just hope no one pulls a gun on you tonight, huh?
Manny
I just got back from the worst vacation I've ever had!
Celso
Actually, I just got back from quite an adventure myself, so...
Manny
Well, I'm sure you've seen flying spiders and flaming beavers, but trust me, it gets worse!
Manny
You see, I've been to the edge of the world and back...
Celso
I had no idea traveling the Land of the Dead was so fraught with peril!
Manny
Now how much would you pay, just to skip the whole thing?
Celso
Darling, come.
Celso
Let us blow our nest egg, together.
Celso
Mr. LeMans, we've decided to take you up on your generous offer.
Hector
Excellent! Excellent!
Hector
The little lady changed your mind, eh?
Celso
No, actually it was your agent over there.
Hector
Well, ah, uh, of...of course, heh, he's one of my best! Uh-hah-mmm-hmm!
Hector
Well come on in and let's chat, shall we?
Manny
(sigh)
Manny
Still got it.
Hector
I don't know who you are, and I don't know what spell you cast on the Flores couple...
Hector
But stick around...
Hector
Once I'm done with them, there's something across town I'd like to show you.
(Manny is guided back to his former office)
(Hector falls from the roof)
EXT Roof NIGHT
Hector
Am I talking about just a job here? Or am I talking about opportunity, in the general sense?
Hector
We've had a lot of openings in this office in the last couple of years, and frankly we've had trouble filling them. I could really use a closer like you on the team.
Hector
This could be your office.
Hector
Here. Try this on. See how it feels. That's yours too.
Hector
And, as an added bonus...
Hector
Two percent of these, Mr. uh...
Manny
My name's Calavera, and I want a bigger cut.
Hector
Hm-mm-mm,huh,uh,ah,oh, but Mr. Calavera... I'm going to need most of these to get myself out of this world. You see, I've been a very bad boy. Ha ha!
Manny
I'm going to deliver those tickets to their rightful owners...
Manny
...and I'm going to deliver you to the compost pile.
Manny
Ay, Chihuahua!
Manny
The old place looks deserted inside.
Manny
They're screwed shut!
Manny
Hello? Pigeons?
Manny
Friends now?
Manny
I bet I could get over to the other roof on the leg of this sign...
Manny
...but the leg's pointed too far down, and it looks like Hector blew the motor.
Manny
I think using that old gargoyle as a structural support for glamour girl here was a BAD idea.
Manny
There can't be too much in here.
Manny
I'd better save it.
Manny
I'm saving my ammo for the big guy.
Manny
It's sproutella, not spackle!
Manny
No, I have to get to that suitcase before the tickets blow away!
Manny
They look bony to me, but she probably thinks they're fat.
Manny
Too steep to climb.
Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.
Manny
There can't be too much in here.
Manny
I'd better save it.
Manny
I'm saving my ammo for the big guy.
Manny
Can't sprout that.
Manny
I think using that old gargoyle as a structural support for glamour girl here was a BAD idea.
Manny
There can't be too much in here.
Manny
I'd better save it.
Manny
Well, so much for my third arm.
Manny
There can't be too much in here.
Manny
I'd better save it.
Manny
I'm saving my ammo for the big guy.
Manny
Well, it was going to happen eventually!
Manny
Ay Chihuahua!
(The Raven attacks at the train depot)
Manny
That one must be yours.
Glottis
Don't forget to send for help!
Meche
Ahhhhhhhh!
Manny
Oof!
Manny
Ay! Run! Find Salvador!
Olivia
Get in, quick!
Manny
We were supposed to have coverage back there! Where are all of Salvador's men?
Olivia
I don't know.
Olivia
He hasn't told me yet.
Manny
Hola, Manuel.
EXT Meadow NIGHT
Olivia
Time for you to swing, Daddy-O.
Olivia
Let's see you walk.
Manny
These flowers... all people Hector has sprouted?
Olivia
Hey, when you're on top, like my boyfriend Hector is...
Olivia
You make a lot of enemies.
Olivia
What?
Manny
You know, you have really bad taste in men.
Olivia
No, I have a taste for really bad men...
Olivia
There's a difference.
Manny
Hmmm...Hector supplies water to keep the flowers alive?
Manny
Does he see them as a memorial, or as trophies?
Manny
Not thirsty.
Manny
Yeah, right!
Manny
There can't be too much in here.
Manny
I'd better save it.
Manny
It's a hand-held grinder.
Manny
This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.
(Manny confronts Hector in his greenhouse)
Hector
She loves me...
Hector
...she loves me not...
Manny
Well, you're half right.
Hector
Oh Manny... so cynical... What happened to you, Manny, that caused you to lose your sense of hope, your love of life?
Manny
I died.
Hector
I see, hm-mm, I guess Domino was right, you don't have a shred of optimism.
Manny
Well, when it comes to shreds, Dom is the expert.
Hector
And by that same logic, Manny, you're about to become an expert in botany.
Manny
Is this where you tell me all about your secret plan, Hector?
Manny
How you stole Double-N tickets from innocent souls, pretended to sell them but really hoarded them all for yourself in a desperate attempt to get out of the Land of the Dead?
Hector
No.
Manny
Ugh!
Hector
Hee-ah, huh, uh, huh...This is where you writhe around in excruciating pain for about an hour because that idiot Bowlsley ran off with all the fast-acting Sproutella.
Hector
This slow stuff WILL sprout you, but it's going to take a long time, I'm sorry to say.
Manny
Aggk!
Manny
Aggh!
Hector
Manny? Where are you going? You've got some time, you know, before you have to...leave. Ha ha ha!
Hector
Get it? Leave! Ha ha ha!
Manny
Argh!
Manny
Ughh!
Manny
Ogh!
EXT Flowers Close-up NIGHT
Manny
Eeeeeh!