Grim Fandango Dialog Transcript
© LucasArts Entertainment Company LLC. All rights reserved.




(Introduction)


INT. Manny's Office DAY


Manny
Hmmmm... ¿Qué es esto?

Manny
Looks like I got a message.

Manny
Looks like I got a message.

Manny
It's some sort of special work order...

Eva
To: All agents. From: Office Manager Don Copal.

Copal
All right you boneheads, thank your lucky stars and get to your freakin' cars!

Copal
We have a mass poisoning on our hands!

Copal
Too many dead to assign specific cases, so all clients are FIRST COME FIRST SERVE!

Copal
So, let's see some hustle out there!

Manny
Whatever you say, jefe.

Manny
Here's Celso's file.

Manny
That walking stick was too good for him.

Manny
My computer gives me instant access to our database of deadbeats.

Manny
Here's Celso's file.

Manny
That walking stick was too good for him.

Manny
It's some sort of special work order...

Eva
To: All agents. From: Office Manager Don Copal.

Copal
All right you boneheads, thank your lucky stars and get to your freakin' cars!

Copal
We have a mass poisoning on our hands!

Copal
Too many dead to assign specific cases, so all clients are FIRST COME FIRST SERVE!

Copal
So, let's see some hustle out there!

Manny
Whatever you say, jefe.

Manny
This end cabinet is where I hang my cloak.

Manny
This end cabinet is where I hang my cloak.

Manny
Nothing in there but my cloak.

Manny
Eh, I'm going to let it air out some more.

Manny
My boss is always giving me these motivational sales books...

Manny
"They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows," stuff like that.

Manny
Better take these cards-- it looks like a long day of solitaire for me.

Manny
I couldn't play this card there.

Manny
My boss is always giving me these motivational sales books...

Manny
"They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows," stuff like that.

Manny
My boss is always giving me these motivational sales books...

Manny
"They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows," stuff like that.

Manny
Wasn't too long ago that the name on the door was, "Supply Closet."


INT. Hallway DAY


Manny
(Sigh.) My old door.

Manny
Domino's door is locked.

Manny
Probably scared I'll steal one of his files.

Manny
Not a bad idea, actually.

Manny
It's my boss' secretary, Eva.

Eva
It's my boss' whipping boy, Manny.

Manny
Buenos Días.

Eva
Manny? Why aren't you at the poisoning?

Manny
What poisoning?

Eva
Yeah, the code three gazpacho poisoning that everybody's at but you!

Eva
Why do I send out memos if no one reads them?

Manny
Where was the poisoning again?

Eva
Just ask your driver for crying out loud. He'll know.

Manny
Any messages for me?

Eva
Besides the one about the poisoning?

Manny
Yeah.

Eva
I only have one other message for you, Manny...

Eva
I'm not your secretary!

Eva
I don't take your messages!

Eva
So get it through your thick skull, and stop forwarding your phone to me!

Manny
Alright, but that sounded more like FOUR messages to me.

Manny
In my heart, though, you're still my secretary.

Eva
Manny, what are you talking about?

Eva
I was NEVER your secretary, even when you were on top.

Eva
I got one boss, same as you--Don Copal.

Manny
Come on. I know you work for another man besides Don.

Eva
Wh--

Eva
Wh...What are you talking about?

Manny
I know you take memos for Hurley some times.

Eva
Ah, Manny. Just beat it, will ya?

Manny
Busy as ever, I see.

Eva
I'd have more work to do if you had more clients.

Manny
Ouch!

Manny
Where is everybody?

Eva
Oh, Manny, did you forget what day it is today?

Manny
Oh, man. Did I come in on Saturday again?

Eva
It's the Day of the Dead!

Eva
Everybody's back in the Land of the Living, visiting their families, like we should be.

Manny
Why aren't you visiting your family today?

Eva
Ah, the boss is here so I gotta be here.

Eva
How about you, Cal?

Manny
No one back there I want to see.

Eva
...and you don't want Domino here alone, getting all the good leads.

Manny
Domino's here?

Eva
He's at the poisoning right now, stealing your commission.

Manny
So... you going to the Christmas party?

Eva
After the spectacle you made of yourself last year?

Eva
I wouldn't miss it for the world!

Manny
Any good gossip?

Eva
Well, I heard Domino got a raise.

Manny
Por favor. Tell me some good news, why don't ya?

Eva
I still love you.

Manny
You're all I really need, Belleza.

Manny
I forget... am I supposed to be somewhere right now?

Eva
Manny, do I have to explain your job to you again?

Manny
No, but I'd like to hear your description of it, just for kicks.

Eva
Well, the Manuel Calavera that I know picks up people in the Land of the Living...

Manny
Dead people.

Eva
Preferably.

Eva
And he brings them here and tries valiantly to sell them the best travel package they qualify for.

Eva
If he sells enough premium packages, our hero will be free to leave the Land of the Dead.

Eva
Until then, he and I are stuck here...

Eva
...having the same conversation...

Eva
...over and over again for eternity.

Manny
Well, enough about me. What's your job like?

Eva
Like babysitting, except I don't get to watch TV.

Manny
Why do some clients qualify for better travel packages?

Eva
They led good lives.

Manny
Que traes! How do you define a "good" life?

Eva
Better than yours and mine.

Manny
So, what did you do in life to get stuck here?

Eva
What I did back in the fat days is none of your business. You know the rules.

Manny
What if we just skipped town tonight?

Manny
You and me, baby!

Eva
Thanks for the offer, but we'd never make it out of the city alive.

Manny
But...

Eva
In one piece, I mean.

Manny
I bet I could get out, if I really tried.

Eva
Oh, Manny. Look at you.

Eva
You're a trapped soul, and you don't even know it.

Manny
Just one more question about my job...

Eva
Manny, you know what to do.

Eva
Stop playing dumb just to flirt with me.

Eva
Manny, if you don't mind, I've got a lot of filing here to do...

Manny
Right. Hay te huacho.

Manny
It's my boss' secretary, Eva.

Eva
It's my boss' whipping boy, Manny.

Manny
Ah, the big, golden door to mediocre management.

Eva
A little respect for our fearless leader, please.

Manny
Why? I've worked here longer than he has, you know.

Eva
And you're proud of that?

Manny
Hmmm. Good point.

Eva
Big Mr. Boss Man doesn't want to be disturbed today.


INT. Garage DAY


Manny
There are lights for "Wash," "Rinse," "Wax..."

Manny
...and "Land of the Living" depending on your destination.

Manny
The driver-demons operate this somehow, and the company won't tell us salesmen how it works.

Manny
Gotta keep us down somehow.

Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.

Manny
Who's afraid of a little rusty water?

Glottis
Hey! Who the--

Glottis
Who's messing with my stuff?

Glottis
Oh, heh, sorry, sir! I didn't expect...

Glottis
Sales agents usually don't come over to this part of the garage...

Manny
Hey, you a driver?

Glottis
Me?

Glottis
Ha!

Glottis
No.

Glottis
No no no.

Glottis
I don't ride 'em. Just wrench 'em.

Manny
I'm Calavera. Manny Calavera.

Glottis
My name's Glottis.

Glottis
I don't get many visitors--Hey! I got a message for a Mr. Calavera...

Glottis
Uh...

Glottis
...your driver said...

Glottis
...that Mr. Hurley said...

Glottis
...that he could have the rest of the day off.

Manny
Domino sent my driver home?

Glottis
Yeah, wasn't that nice?

Manny
Looks like I need a new driver.

Glottis
OH!

Glottis
I...

Glottis
UH... I!

Glottis
Uh... I, would agree with that.

Glottis
Yes you do.

Manny
Glottis... Glottis... Is that a German name?

Glottis
Oh, no. My roots lie not in any Earthly nation's soil.

Glottis
I am an elemental spirit summoned up from the Land of the Dead itself and given one purpose, one skill, one desire:

Glottis
to DRIVE.

Glottis
Or, to change oil and adjust timing belts, if no driving jobs are open.

Manny
Nice hut.

Glottis
Yeah, I wonder how nice it would seem to you if you were TRAPPED in it all day like me.

Manny
If you hate your job, why don't you quit?

Glottis
It's not just a job. It's what I was created to do.

Glottis
If I get any farther away from cars than this, I'll get sick and die.

Glottis
It's like I'm not happy unless I'm breathing in the thick, black, nauseating fumes...

Manny
Hmm. Can't imagine.

Manny
You want to be my replacement driver?

Glottis
ME?

Glottis
OH, oh, no. Sorry.

Glottis
Can't.

Glottis
Rules.

Manny
Come on, Glottis. I need you to be my driver.

Glottis
No, I can't. I'm... I'm...

Glottis
I'm too big.

Manny
You're not too big. The cars are just too small.

Glottis
Yeah! Those dang compact cars--

Glottis
Hey! That gives me an idea!

Glottis
I could alter your car just a bit--with just a quick torch job to let out the seams, you know?

Glottis
Ah, but I'm not allowed to modify the cars without a work order from upstairs.

Glottis
I could lose my job.

Manny
A work order, huh?

Glottis
Yeah yeah yeah!

Glottis
I can't torch anything bigger than a cigarette without one of these signed by the boss himself.

Manny
Hey, that's my line--getting people to sign.

Manny
Back in a snap.

Glottis
Yeah, too small! I'm not too big!

Glottis
Everything around here is just too small!

Manny
It's a tool cabinet.

Manny
That won't help it get signed.


INT. Lobby DAY


Manny
Ah, the old head of the department...

Manny
Way before my time.

Manny
I heard he was a total slave-driver.

Manny
How's it hanging?

Manny
Not that I have a choice, but I wonder if I'd be happier working on a ship.

Manny
Then again, I'm so competitive, I wouldn't be able to relax until I was captain...

Manny
Not that I have a choice, but I wonder if I'd be happier working on a ship.

Manny
Then again, I'm so competitive, I wouldn't be able to relax until I was captain...

Manny
That's the door to the packing room.

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
That's the door to the streets of El Marrow.


EXT Street Festival DAY


Manny
Looks like some sort of crafty mime.

Manny
What's goin' down, clown?

balloon twister
Hey, back off, Suit.

balloon twister
I'm practicing.

Manny
Practicing what?

balloon twister
Wringing your neck, what does it look like?

Manny
Twist me up one of them, eh fella?

balloon twister
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Twist this, all right?

Manny
Bet ya can't do a cat.

balloon twister
Shows what you know, buddy.

balloon twister
I can do anything.

balloon twister
I can do birds, amphibians, famous poets--Go ahead. Name one.

Manny
Robert Frost.

balloon twister
Trying to stump me, eh?

balloon twister
Ta-da.

Manny
My kid wants another balloon animal.

balloon twister
Ah geez. What now?

Manny
Okay, a cat.

balloon twister
Pfft. No problem.

balloon twister
Ta-da.

Manny
Can I walk through your tent? I want to see the parade.

balloon twister
Well, walk through someone else's tent, all right? Do I look like a turnstile to you?

Manny
Some festival, eh?

balloon twister
Yeah, yeah. Pretty busy.

balloon twister
My carpal tunnel syndrome is really acting up.

Manny
But you don't have any... tendons...

balloon twister
Yeah, well you don't have a tongue but that doesn't seem to shut you up, now does it?

Manny
Could you teach me how to do that?

balloon twister
Well, um, since you're a beginner, why don't you practice the first step?

Manny
Which is?

balloon twister
Blow!

Manny
BANG!

balloon twister
Aaah! Popped another one!

balloon twister
Lousy bony fingers!

Manny
I have to go. That sound makes me want to kill somebody.

balloon twister
You too?

Manny
Those crates are completely blocking the sidewalk.

Manny
What if there were a fire?

Manny
They're just full of party favors, and I'm not in a party mood.

Manny
Looks like some sort of crafty mime.

Manny
The Bread of the Dead.

Manny
Since I really didn't get to celebrate the festival this year, I think I'm entitled to a little Pan de Muertos.


EXT Alley DAY


Manny
I don't like the way that eye is looking at me.

Manny
I don't like the way that eye is looking at me.

Manny
Hello?

Manny
Hello?

Manny
That's the door to the garage.

Manny
It's huge. I can't open it.

Manny
It looks like a rope...

Manny
...but it's really just a bunch of cheap ties tied together.


EXT Ledge DAY


Manny
It's the loose end of the rope made of ties.

Manny
It's pretty long, though...


INT. Copal's Office DAY


Manny
This place is a mess!

Manny
I would love to search Don's office right now, but I'm late for the poisoning!

Manny
It looks like Don's rigged his computer to automatically answer his intercom...

Manny
I'll just change his auto-response here...

Copal
It'll have to wait! I'm in the middle of a very important meeting!

Copal
Are you trying to lose your job?

Copal
If you buzz me again, I swear I'll jump out this window!

Manny
Just thinking about Don's file "system" gives me a cold chill.

Manny
No time to ransack! Everybody's at the poisoning but me!

Manny
No time to ransack! Everybody's at the poisoning but me!

Manny
More junk I don't have time to look through...

Manny
If I go out that way, everyone will know I was snooping around in here.

Manny
Just thinking about Don's file "system" gives me a cold chill.

Manny
So, this is where Copal sends out all the work orders.

Manny
Why don't any of the good ones get to my office?

Manny
He's got a lock on it!

Manny
I can't believe he doesn't trust me!

Manny
"To all Employees of the Department of Death, Bureau of Acquisitions:

Manny
Employees who have made their sales quotas are invited to take the Day of the Dead as a holiday...

Manny
...as long as they make up the time lost on the following weekend." Idiota!

Manny
"To all Employees of the Department of Death, Bureau of Acquisitions:

Manny
Employees who have made their sales quotas are invited to take the Day of the Dead as a holiday...

Manny
...as long as they make up the time lost on the following weekend." Idiota!

Copal
Ah, cripes, Eva! Just sign it yourself, will ya? I'm busy!


EXT Ledge DAY


Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.

Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.


INT. Hallway DAY


Eva
What is that horrible squeaking noise you're making?

Manny
New shoes.

Manny
Eva, I really need the boss to sign this work order.

Eva
I'll give it a shot.



(Glottis drives Manny to the Land of the Living)



INT. Diner DAY


Manny
Ehhh, the living still give me the creeps.

Manny
Bound only by the paper-thin wrapper of mortality, a soul here lies, struggling to be free.

Manny
And so it shall, thanks to a bowl of bad gazpacho, and a man named Calavera.

Manny
I can't use my bare hands. I'm a professional.

Bruno
Nice bathrobe.



(Manny gives Bruno an economy travel package)



INT. Lobby DAY


Manny
I'm sick of waiting around for a good lead, like it's going to fly in here tied to a brick.

Manny
It's time to TAKE one.


INT. Hallway DAY


Manny
Hey, you missed a great poisoning.

Eva
Yeah, and you missed a great client.

Eva
Domino came back from there with a nun.

Manny
Híjole - I got a tiny little man with a mean temper and no commission.

Eva
Well, at least you don't work for one.

Manny
I can't find my driver.

Eva
Manny, you know what to do.

Eva
Stop playing dumb just to flirt with me.

Eva
Manny, if you don't mind, I've got a lot of filing here to do...

Manny
Right. Hay te huacho.

Eva
Big Mr. Boss Man doesn't want to be disturbed today.

Manny
(Sigh.) My old door.


INT. Domino's Office DAY


Manny
It's Domino Hurley, sweatiest man in the office.

Domino
You gotta sweat to sell, Cally, and you know it.

Manny
Well, at least you're not hitting the BOTTLE anymore.

Domino
Heeeyyy, Cally. How ya doin'?

Manny
So, how'd you make out at the poisoning?

Domino
Well, let's just say that Sister Calabaza has a secret passion...

Domino
...for trains.

Manny
You got a nun?

Domino
Hail Mary.

Manny
And you sold her a ticket on the Number Nine train?

Domino
Choo-choo, little buddy.

Domino
Say, how'd you score?

Manny
I got two nuns, actually.

Domino
Hey, that reminds me of this really funny joke...

Manny
Heard it.

Manny
I want to ask you a question.

Domino
Shoot, slugger.

Manny
Is it hard to kiss up to the boss so much with no lips?

Domino
Hey, I got all the lip I need.

Domino
I get it from you.

Manny
Why do you get all the good clients?

Domino
You're asking the wrong guy.

Domino
You should be taking a good long look at the man in the mirror.

Manny
No thanks. I don't enjoy that the same way you do.

Manny
What did you do to get this job?

Domino
You mean, what's my secret to success?

Manny
No, I mean how did you screw up and get stuck here at the DOD?

Manny
What sin did you commit and how long are you going to have to work here to pay it off?

Domino
I could easily ask the same question of you.

Manny
But I don't know the answer. I still don't know what I've done.

Domino
How convenient! Then neither do I.

Manny
Can I have one of your clients?

Domino
Sure, Cal.

Domino
Just as soon as I get one I think you could handle...

Manny
I can handle anything you got.

Manny
Especially if that's your best right jab.

Manny
I wanna tell you something.

Domino
Good, go on and let it all out.

Domino
There's no reason for you to be afraid of me.

Manny
You know, this used to be my office.

Domino
Yeah, I know.

Domino
I found your name on some comic books in the desk.

Manny
I want my office back.

Domino
Don't worry, you'll have years and years to enjoy it after I get promoted out and you're still here.

Manny
I think you're up to something.

Domino
Yeah, I'm up to about four premium sales this week.

Domino
Heh heh.

Manny
I think we should team up, be partners.

Domino
Oh, Manny, I would, but I'm too intimidated.

Domino
I could never be partners with someone who was so much more of a man than me.

Manny
Oh, come on.

Manny
I've seen your wife.

Manny
I wanna punch you in the mouth.

Domino
Oh, no. Not the Christmas party all over again.

Manny
What happened at the Christmas party?

Domino
Blacked out on the whole thing, huh?

Domino
Maybe you should switch to lemonade, kid.

Manny
Well, you sound pretty out of breath, so I'm going to blow.

Domino
Always a pleasure, Cal.

Manny
Those pictures come with the frames?

Domino
That suit come with those holes?

Manny
No use for it.

Manny
Look at all the diplomas!

Domino
You have to have the proper attitude to get diplomas like those, Manny!

Manny
Really? I thought you just had to have the proper postage.

Manny
No use for it.

Manny
Desk drawers? I don't have desk drawers!

Domino
Hey! Get out of there, Calavera!

Manny
Hey, Dom. What's your screen-saver password?

Domino
Get away from my computer, Manny.

Manny
Hey, Dom. What's your screen-saver password?

Domino
Get away from my computer, Manny.

Manny
No messages in Dom's fancy red tube.

Manny
He's got a lock on it!

Manny
I can't believe he doesn't trust me!

Manny
That's some premium-looking scotch.

Domino
Have some, Manny, just so you don't forget what "premium" tastes like.

Manny
I think Dom would call the company shrink if I left through the window.

Manny
Even the view out his window is better than mine, somehow.

Manny
That's some premium-looking scotch.

Domino
Have some, Manny, just so you don't forget what "premium" tastes like.


INT. Manny's Office DAY


Manny
My boss is always giving me these motivational sales books...

Manny
"They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows," stuff like that.

Manny
Ah the old files, the old clients, the glory days...

Manny
When people died with dignity, and Domino Hurley didn't exist.

Manny
I don't want to re-read the old files; it'll just make me sad.

Manny
My message tube is full of nothing, as usual.

Manny
My computer gives me instant access to our database of deadbeats.

Manny
I should close Bruno's record before the black marks burn into my screen.


INT. Hallway DAY


Eva
Manny, if you don't mind, I've got a lot of filing here to do...

Manny
Right. Hay te huacho.

Manny
That's the elevator to the lobby.


INT. Lobby DAY


Tube-Switcher Guy
Grmmmble, grrr...

Tube-Switcher Guy
You and your fancy suits and your nose holes way up in the air...

Tube-Switcher Guy
Sticking your empty beer bottles down the message tubes, how fancy is that?

Tube-Switcher Guy
Huh? Don't you boys upstairs realize the tube switcher is a sophisticated and delicate piece of machinery?

Manny
Uh...

Tube-Switcher Guy
You think you're better than me??

Manny
No.

Tube-Switcher Guy
Good.


INT. Packing Room DAY


Manny
One of the chemicals for our packing material comes out of there.

Manny
It's a nasty chemical puddle.

Manny
I'm not getting that stuff all over my hands.

Manny
One of the chemicals for our packing material comes out of there.

Manny
Ah! That smell!

Manny
It's a lump of our packing foam.

Manny
For those who enjoy no-hassle travel.

Manny
Bruno? You in one of these?

Manny
Must have picked him up already.

Manny
It's a lump of our packing foam.

Manny
No thanks. That stuff smells terrible, man.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.


EXT El Marrow Freeway On Ramp DAY


Manny
I'm not walking on the freeway!

Manny
I shouldn't even be STANDING here...


EXT Street Festival DAY


Manny
I have to go. That sound makes me want to kill somebody.

balloon twister
You too?

Manny
Those crates are completely blocking the sidewalk.

Manny
What if there were a fire?

Manny
The Bread of the Dead.


EXT Alley DAY


Manny
I don't like the way that eye is looking at me.

Manny
Hello?

Manny
I couldn't play this card there.

Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.


INT. Lobby DAY


Manny
Let's see... where am I on this... Don Copal, Domino Hurley...

Manny
Junior sales associates? That better not be me!

Manny
Let's see... where am I on this... Don Copal, Domino Hurley...

Manny
Junior sales associates? That better not be me!

Manny
There she is--The Number Nine...

Manny
One of these days I'm going to ride her right on outta here!

Manny
There she is--The Number Nine...

Manny
One of these days I'm going to ride her right on outta here!

Manny
Now this guy...

Manny
I don't know who this guy is.

Manny
I think he just paid for the lobby renovation.

Manny
Good afternoon.


INT. Communications Room DAY


Manny
"WARNING: Fire System, Do Not Touch."

Manny
It's the sophisticated and delicate hub of all communications here in the Department of Death.

Manny
It's the sophisticated and delicate hub of all communications here in the Department of Death.

Manny
That wheel should open it.

Manny
The wheel won't turn, and the door won't budge.

Manny
The deadbolt looks set.

Manny
With what?


INT. Garage DAY


Manny
It's a tool cabinet.

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
It's a tool cabinet.

Manny
It's a tool cabinet.

Manny
This sign says, "I'm at the junkyard. Wooooo!"

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
No one in there.

Manny
Not when there's a door.

Manny
Who's afraid of a little rusty water?

Manny
I couldn't play this card there.

Manny
I couldn't play this card there.

Manny
I couldn't play this card there.

Manny
There are lights for "Wash," "Rinse," "Wax..."

Manny
...and "Land of the Living" depending on your destination.


EXT Entrance to the Department of Death DAY


Manny
I remember the year they built that...

Manny
Mostly because it cost so much we didn't get bonuses that year.

Manny
I remember the year they built that...

Manny
Mostly because it cost so much we didn't get bonuses that year.

Manny
"NO PARKING. Client car pick-up only."

Manny
"NO PARKING. Client car pick-up only."


EXT Street Festival DAY


Manny
Looks like some sort of crafty mime.

Manny
My kid wants another balloon animal.

balloon twister
Ah geez. What now?

Manny
A dingo.

balloon twister
That's my specialty!

balloon twister
Ta-da.

Manny
My kid wants another balloon animal.

balloon twister
Ah geez. What now?

Manny
A dead worm.

balloon twister
Heck that's easy.

balloon twister
There's no limit on those!

Manny
It's just a regular-old balloon dog. I don't see what's so "dingo" about it.

Manny
It's a deflated balloon.

Manny
My scythe--I like to keep it next to where my heart used to be.

Manny
This deck of cards is a little frayed around the edges.

Manny
Then again, so am I, and I've got fewer suits.

Manny
I keep meaning to mark these cards...

Manny
This doesn't look anything like Robert Frost.

Manny
It's a squeaky little kitty.

Manny
The Bread of the Dead.

Manny
It's just a regular-old balloon dog. I don't see what's so "dingo" about it.


INT. Communications Room DAY


Manny
The deadbolt looks set.

Manny
That's not what balloons are for.

Manny
The deadbolt looks set.

Manny
The deadbolt looks set.

Manny
Not right now.

Manny
The wheel won't turn, and the door won't budge.

Manny
It's the sophisticated and delicate hub of all communications here in the Department of Death.

Manny
As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself.

Manny
That red tube looks familiar.

Manny
Can't reach.

Manny
I think that's the other end of Domino's message tube...

Manny
If I could just get in there...

Manny
That red tube looks familiar.

Manny
"WARNING: Fire System, Do Not Touch."

Manny
"WARNING: Fire System, Do Not Touch."

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
That's not on fire.


EXT Street Festival DAY


Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
I have to go. That sound makes me want to kill somebody.

balloon twister
You too?


INT. Lobby DAY


Manny
That's the door to the packing room.

Manny
Not that I have a choice, but I wonder if I'd be happier working on a ship.

Manny
Then again, I'm so competitive, I wouldn't be able to relax until I was captain...


INT. Packing Room DAY


Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
One of the chemicals for our packing material comes out of there.

Manny
For those who enjoy no-hassle travel.

Manny
Bruno? You in one of these?

Manny
Must have picked him up already.

Manny
This balloon is filled with a dark chemical.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.


EXT Street Festival DAY


Manny
I don't really want to do that.

Manny
That soul has already been reaped.


EXT Ledge DAY


Manny
It's the loose end of the rope made of ties.

Manny
It's pretty long, though...

Manny
The shutters are down--Don must be in there napping.

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
The shutters are down--Don must be in there napping.

Manny
No use for it.

Manny
No way. If I go any farther, Dom will see me and call the staff shrink to come talk me down.


INT. Communications Room DAY


Manny
I don't really want to do that.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.


INT. Garage DAY


Manny
Can't go through on foot.

Manny
People have tried, but they never came back.

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
Not picking that up.

Manny
Not picking that up.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.

Manny
No one in there.

Manny
It's a tool cabinet.

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
It's a tool cabinet.

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
This sign says, "I'm at the junkyard. Wooooo!"

Manny
This balloon is filled with a dark chemical.

Manny
"WARNING: Fire System, Do Not Touch."

Manny
It's just a regular-old balloon dog. I don't see what's so "dingo" about it.

Manny
The Bread of the Dead.

Manny
It's a squeaky little kitty.

Manny
This doesn't look anything like Robert Frost.

Manny
I keep meaning to mark these cards...

Manny
I keep meaning to mark these cards...

Manny
This deck of cards is a little frayed around the edges.

Manny
Then again, so am I, and I've got fewer suits.

Manny
My scythe--I like to keep it next to where my heart used to be.

Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
I couldn't play this card there.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.


INT. Hallway DAY


Manny
No.

Eva
Thanks, but I got solitaire on the computer, Manny.

Eva
Maybe card tricks some other time, when I'm not so busy.

Eva
Oh THAT'S what's making that terrible noise.

Eva
Oh THAT'S what's making that terrible noise.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Eva
Oh THAT'S what's making that terrible noise.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.

Eva
Big Mr. Boss Man doesn't want to be disturbed today.


INT. Domino's Office DAY


Manny
Hey, Hurl!

Domino
Yeah?

Manny
Well, you sound pretty out of breath, so I'm going to blow.

Domino
Always a pleasure, Cal.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
Those pictures come with the frames?

Domino
That suit come with those holes?

Manny
I think Dom would call the company shrink if I left through the window.

Manny
No messages in Dom's fancy red tube.

Manny
Even the view out his window is better than mine, somehow.

Manny
I think Dom would call the company shrink if I left through the window.

Manny
Hey, Dom. What's your screen-saver password?

Domino
Get away from my computer, Manny.

Manny
Desk drawers? I don't have desk drawers!

Domino
Hey! Get out of there, Calavera!

Manny
I think Dom would call the company shrink if I left through the window.

Manny
That's some premium-looking scotch.

Domino
Have some, Manny, just so you don't forget what "premium" tastes like.

Manny
Look at all the diplomas!

Domino
You have to have the proper attitude to get diplomas like those, Manny!

Manny
Really? I thought you just had to have the proper postage.

Manny
I don't really want to do that.


INT. Manny's Office DAY


Manny
My boss is always giving me these motivational sales books...

Manny
"They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows," stuff like that.

Manny
Read 'em already. Didn't help.

Manny
Heh. Look out below.


INT. Communications Room DAY


Manny
That red tube looks familiar.

Manny
There's that dark chemical everywhere in there.


EXT Street Festival DAY


Manny
My kid wants another balloon animal.

balloon twister
Ah geez. What now?

Manny
Do you have any more dead worms back there?

balloon twister
Well, suuure!

Manny
This balloon is filled with a light chemical.


INT. Manny's Office DAY


Manny
That doesn't sound good.


INT. Hallway DAY


Eva
Server's down again.

Manny
What else is new?

Manny
Mind if I use your hole punch?

Eva
Knock yourself out.

Manny
Thanks.

Eva
Gets the aggressions out, doesn't it?

Manny
It's my boss' secretary, Eva.

Eva
It's my boss' whipping boy, Manny.

Manny
It's a hole punch.


INT. Communications Room DAY


Manny
It's the wheel on the door.

Manny
The wheel won't budge.

Manny
The deadbolt looks like it's not set.

Manny
I've just locked an open door.

Manny
Strange, yet symbolically compelling...

Manny
It's the wheel on the door.

Manny
Hi. I'm not getting any messages. Is the server down?

Tube-Switcher Guy
This is their idea of a joke?

Tube-Switcher Guy
They think it's funny?

Tube-Switcher Guy
I'd like to jam THEIR tubes with packing material, see how they like that!

Manny
So, you're saying the server is down, is that it?

Tube-Switcher Guy
The server is not down, it's never DOWN.

Tube-Switcher Guy
It's just temporarily unavailable while I'm doing some maintenance, that's all.

Manny
So, how long is it going to be down?

Tube-Switcher Guy
With a job like this you never can tell.

Tube-Switcher Guy
Probably hours.

Manny
Or until no one's around to see you sneak out, Aye?

Tube-Switcher Guy
Whichever comes first.

Manny
Who would do a terrible thing like this?

Tube-Switcher Guy
It's those punks in the mail room!

Tube-Switcher Guy
They think this baby's going to put them out of a job.

Tube-Switcher Guy
And they're right!

Manny
Just curious--How'd you get in there?

Tube-Switcher Guy
I squeezed down one of these tubes, like a pixie!

Tube-Switcher Guy
How d'ya think I got in here?

Tube-Switcher Guy
Through the door, just like you!

Manny
Can I squeeze in there, just for a sec?

Tube-Switcher Guy
Are you kidding?

Tube-Switcher Guy
This is a highly secured area.

Tube-Switcher Guy
No one's allowed in here who ain't me.

Manny
What's so special about you?

Tube-Switcher Guy
I, sir, am an elemental spirit, summoned from the Land of the Dead itself...

Manny
Yeah, yeah, let me guess...

Manny
You were given one purpose, one skill, one desire: fixing pneumatic tube switchers?

Tube-Switcher Guy
No, I was created to run the elevators, but they put in those dang motion detectors...

Tube-Switcher Guy
...and put me outta work!

Manny
You know, I really think it's clean enough.

Tube-Switcher Guy
Oh, it's clean enough to run, all right.

Tube-Switcher Guy
I'm just fiddling around to be safe, you know...

Tube-Switcher Guy
Gotta cover my ass!

Manny
Yes you do.

Tube-Switcher Guy
Say, uh, Chatty Cathy...

Tube-Switcher Guy
I got a lot of tubes to flush here...

Manny
Hey, me too. I'll let you go.

Tube-Switcher Guy
Ah, not again!

Tube-Switcher Guy
AAAAY-AY-AY!

Tube-Switcher Guy
You trying to blow this joint sky high?

Tube-Switcher Guy
That's a magnesium-compound fire extinguisher!

Tube-Switcher Guy
Spray that on this packing foam and we'll both be riding the giant roman candle out of here.

Manny
What? Why would they put something so dangerous in here?

Tube-Switcher Guy
I guess they didn't expect this room to be full of hazardous waste!

Manny
Ah, our cheerful communications maintenance staff is on the job.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
I couldn't play this card there.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
No room for that.

Manny
Hey, I'm still not getting any messages.

Tube-Switcher Guy
I'm giving you one right now, but you can't see my hand.

Manny
The deadbolt looks like it's not set.

Manny
The deadbolt looks like it's not set.

Manny
That red tube looks familiar.

Manny
Can't reach.

Manny
The switcher looks pretty gunked up.

Manny
As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself.

Manny
The switcher looks pretty gunked up.

Manny
As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself.

Tube-Switcher Guy
Good enough for government work!

Manny
It's the sophisticated and delicate hub of all communications here in the Department of Death.

Manny
As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself.

Manny
That red tube looks familiar.

Manny
It's locked.

Manny
Hmmm... too much air pressure.

Manny
It's the sophisticated and delicate hub of all communications here in the Department of Death.

Manny
That red tube looks familiar.

Manny
Not picking that up.

Manny
Hmmm... too much air pressure.


INT. Packing Room DAY


Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
No thanks. That stuff smells terrible, man.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.


INT. Communications Room DAY


Manny
Not here!

Manny
No room for that.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
Hmmm... too much air pressure.

Manny
No room for that.


INT. Manny's Office DAY


Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
That's not on fire.


INT. Communications Room DAY


Manny
Hmmm... too much air pressure.


EXT Street Festival DAY


Manny
I'll just take a little more bread, to honor the dead.


INT. Packing Room DAY


Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.


INT. Lobby DAY


Manny
Not right now.


INT. Garage DAY


Manny
It's locked.

Manny
This sign says, "I'm at the junkyard. Wooooo!"


INT. Hallway DAY


Manny
Not here!

Eva
Manny, what are you doing?

Manny
Just marking cards, honey.


INT. Communications Room DAY


Manny
Mercedes Colomar, Client number 9308--blah blah blah...

Manny
...Died of chickenpox... time of death, yadda yadda yadda...

Manny
Ah-ha!

Manny
Positive Attributes: Volunteered time reading stories to dying children!

Manny
That's good! That's really good!

Manny
I think you're it, Mercedes Colomar! I think you're the one for me!



(Maiden voyage of the Bone Wagon)



INT. Manny's Office DAY


Meche
That's a lot of responsibility, Mr. Calavera.

Meche
What makes you think I've been all that good?

Manny
Ms. Colomar--

Meche
Meche. Please.

Manny
Meche. I can see it in your face.

Manny
And in your file here, where it says you're entitled to a first-class ticket to...

Manny
...nowhere?

Manny
WHAT?!

Meche
Did I do something wrong?

Manny
Not according to your bio! It was spotless!

Manny
...at least the part I read was.

Meche
I'm not sure I like the implication, Mr. Calavera.

Manny
Anything about your past you haven't told me?

Meche
Quite a bit, considering I've told you nothing.

Manny
Did you kill much when you were alive?

Meche
Very little.

Manny
Were you a big shoplifter?

Meche
Well, they accused me of it once...

Manny
Really?

Meche
But it wasn't my fault. That puppy followed me out of the store.

Manny
Oh.

Manny
Ever cheated on your taxes?

Meche
I've never paid taxes in my life.

Manny
Ah-ha!

Meche
I've never made enough money to be taxed.

Meche
You know, it's mostly been all volunteer work...

Manny
Uh-huh.

Manny
Ever cheated on your husband?

Meche
Mr. Calavera, there's no ring on my finger.

Manny
There's no skin on it either...

Meche
I guess you'll just have to trust me then.

Manny
Litter?

Meche
Oh, Manny. Is that the best you can do?

Manny
Work with me Meche. Give me some dirt.

Meche
Well, I could do something bad right now if that would help.

Manny
Wouldn't count. Sorry.

Manny
Never killed anybody?

Meche
I have to confess, I never killed anybody.

Manny
Mean to animals?

Meche
Oh no! I love animals.

Meche
Once, when I was volunteering at an animal shelter--

Manny
Just stop right there.

Manny
Not even a teensy bit of killing?

Meche
Maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough.

Manny
I give up.

Meche
Don't say that, Manny.

Manny
Are you SURE you're Mercedes Colomar?

Meche
Yes, would you like to see my birthmark?

Manny
Sure. Where is it?

Meche
It's wherever you guys put my skin!

Manny
You know what I have to do, I just have to go straighten this mess out.

Meche
Sorry to be so much trouble, Mr. Calavera.

Manny
It's no trouble, but please...

Manny
Call me Manny.

Manny
She looks fine to me.

Manny
I'm still on the case, Meche, but I haven't found anything for you yet.

Meche
Maybe I'm not the woman you were hoping for.

Manny
(I just don't understand it.)

Manny
(Why can't I find anything good for Meche?)

Manny
My message tube is full of nothing, as usual.

Meche
I'm sorry I let you down, Manny.


INT. Hallway DAY


Manny
(Sigh.) My old door.

Manny
Domino's door is locked.

Copal
Hey! Funny Bones!

Copal
In my office!

Copal
NOW!



(Manny gets chewed out by Copal)



INT. Glottis' Workshop DAY


Copal
Get in there and stay put until the boys downtown tell us what they want done with ya.

Copal
Someone's gonna take the fall for this, Calavera, and it ain't gonna be me!

Manny
Hmmm.

Manny
Doesn't open.

Manny
I don't see anyone out there.

Manny
It looks like it dispenses something called "Fil-a-Dent."

Manny
Oh, ick.

Manny
It came out like soft-serve ice cream, but judging by the smell, I think it's auto-body filler.

Manny
I don't see anyone out there.

Manny
Doesn't open.

Manny
It looks like it dispenses something called "Fil-a-Dent."

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.

Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.

Manny
I could smash it with my scythe, but the noise would bring them all down on me in a second.

Manny
I don't see anyone out there.

Manny
Hmmm.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.

Manny
I don't see anyone out there.

Manny
It looks like it dispenses something called "Fil-a-Dent."

Manny
I don't see anyone out there.

Manny
Hmmm.

Manny
It looks like it dispenses something called "Fil-a-Dent."

Manny
Oh, ick.

Manny
It came out like soft-serve ice cream, but judging by the smell, I think it's auto-body filler.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
It looks like it dispenses something called "Fil-a-Dent."

Manny
Hmmm.

Manny
Hey, is anybody out there?

Salvador
So, Manuel...

Salvador
Have you thought about what you have done?

Manny
Who's out there?

Salvador
I'm you.

Salvador
Or rather, I was you years ago.

Manny
Yeah, well I'm me now, so get lost.

Manny
Get me out of here!

Salvador
The only way out, Manuel, is to be taken back in.

Salvador
If you are truly still loyal to this company, declare it loudly.

Salvador
The management might hear and stick you right back in their fold.

Manny
Yeah, well I got something they can stick in their fold...

Salvador
You have to try harder than that Manuel.

Salvador
A man's loyalties decide his destiny.

Manny
My loyalty is still to the DOD, believe it or not.

Salvador
Hmmm...Good boy.

Salvador
You just keep up that spirit, and I'm sure you'll get out of here soon enough.

Manny
Doesn't open.

Manny
Hey, guard!

Salvador
How's my little Count of Monte Cristo?

Manny
No, really. Who ARE you?

Salvador
I am a fellow prisoner, my friend.

Manny
Maybe, but your cell is a lot bigger than mine, jailmate.

Manny
What are they going to do to me?

Salvador
I don't want to alarm you, Agent Calavera...

Salvador
But have you ever seen a man SPROUTED?

Manny
What do you mean, "sprouted?"

Salvador
Then you don't know...

Salvador
...there's nothing more horrible than the bite of the sprouter.

Salvador
Its deadly stinger spreads a green disease through every calcified pore on your body...

Salvador
...leaving you veined with roots and flocked with grass...

Salvador
...steadily growing thicker and thicker until you crash and bloom out...

Salvador
...in a horrifying bouquet of pain and fragrant suffering...

Salvador
...screaming until your mouth fills with petals and your nostrils shoot out thorny stems...

Salvador
...and the bulbs sprout in your eyes...

Salvador
...leaving you nothing but a patch of wildflowers on the ground, swarming with butterflies.

Manny
Are you done?

Salvador
Yes.

Manny
No, I've never seen that.

Manny
I'm thinking about getting out and getting even. That's it.

Salvador
If you are still loyal--

Manny
Lay down and roll over and bark the company fight song, I know.

Manny
The DOD runs a crooked game, and I intend to prove it.

Salvador
You would do that?

Salvador
That could cause this agency a lot of trouble...

Manny
I'm gonna blow the lid off this place!

Salvador
Young man, you are an enemy of the Department of Death!

Salvador
Welcome to the club!



(Salvador introduces the Lost Souls' Alliance)



INT. L.S.A. Headquarters DAY


Manny
Where does this go?

Salvador
To a secret tunnel out of the city, but...

Salvador
It opens for members of the LSA only.

Manny
This computer is shut off.

Salvador
We salvaged that unit when the company threw it away, but we have yet to get it working.

Salvador
When we do, we'll need you to get us into the system.

Manny
I'll be long gone before then.

Salvador
We'll see, Manuel.

Manny
This computer is shut off.

Manny
Salvador seems to be concentrating.

Manny
Do you know something I don't know?

Salvador
Have you ever wondered why your clients, even your BEST clients...

Salvador
...never seem to qualify for the packages you know they deserve?

Manny
Yes, my last client in particular... Meche.

Salvador
Well, they all DID qualify, Manuel. Especially her.

Salvador
But somehow, somebody with access to the files has stolen their just rewards, their sweet hereafters...

Manny
Their tickets on the Number Nine?

Salvador
Precisamente, amigo.

Manny
What would they do with the tickets?

Salvador
A ticket on the Number Nine is like a leaf of gold, Manuel.

Salvador
Especially to one who has died with a less-than-perfect record.

Salvador
Someone is profiting here from those that would buy their way into Heaven.

Manny
But money's not important here. We all just want out.

Salvador
YOU want to get out, Manuel, and so do I someday.

Salvador
But for some people, this world is all there is.

Salvador
They have decided to seek pleasure and happiness here in the Eighth Underworld, and for that, you need money.

Manny
What do you want from me?

Salvador
I am going to build an underground army of souls to fight the injustice I have seen in El Marrow.

Salvador
Communication will become vital as the Lost Souls' Alliance spreads out.

Salvador
We'll need messengers we can trust.

Manny
You want me to be your messenger?

Salvador
No, Manuel. Our numbers are small and our agents are too valuable to risk that sort of work.

Salvador
History shows only one messenger to be of use to a cause like ours:

Salvador
CARRIER PIGEONS!

Manny
If I grab some pigeons off the roof, will you let me go?

Salvador
No, I need to raise them from birth, Agent Calavera--

Salvador
I need you to bring me their eggs!

Manny
You're keeping me here because you need the eggs?

Salvador
Why are you still here, Calavera?

Salvador
Go get me an air force before it hatches!

Salvador
Now, that's all the briefing you need, soldier!

Salvador
Viva la Revolución!

Manny
Have you thought about using messages tied to balloons? I can get you plenty of balloons.

Salvador
PIGEONS, Manuel, bring me their EGGS!

Manny
Pues, okay.

Salvador
Viva la Revolución!

Manny
It's my boss' secretary's evil twin!

Eva
Just me, honey.

Manny
So, you're not really a secretary?

Eva
I'm a spy, Manny.

Manny
Well, that's the last time we use THAT temp agency.

Manny
Any messages for me?

Eva
Yes: "Join or Die!"

Manny
But I'm already--

Eva
Again!

Manny
Eva, you gotta get me out of town. They're going to sprout me!

Eva
You can't leave, Manny.

Eva
We need access to the DOD computer network if we're ever gonna find out what's going on.

Eva
And we can't access without a salesman like you. The computer ID's you when you log on.

Manny
How does it do that?

Manny
Fingerprints?

Manny
I don't have any!

Eva
Your teeth, Manny. Haven't you ever noticed your computer scanning your teeth when you log on?

Manny
I thought that was just a power surge.

Eva
We need your teeth Manny, we can't let you go.

Eva
Sorry.

Manny
Doesn't Copal wonder where you are?

Eva
Don and Domino are both locked up in Don's office with some bigwig from downtown.

Eva
Some fatty in a fez.

Salvador
Hmmmm. Who is the fat man, I wonder, and how does he fit into this sinister puzzle?

Manny
How long have you been a spy?

Eva
Salvador recruited me about a year ago.

Eva
I couldn't resist him--he's just so... noble!

Manny
What are you working on there?

Eva
I'm trying to get this radio working so we can use it in the field.

Eva
But it looks pretty hopeless.

Eva
Salvador's right--we need good old-fashioned homing pigeons to communicate with our field agents.

Manny
You have field agents?

Eva
No, it's just Sal and me right now, but someday, Manny...

Manny
So, you won't help me out of here?

Eva
Sorry. I'll help YOU out, but not your teeth.

Eva
Think it over.

Manny
Why won't you help me out?

Eva
I need your teeth, remember?

Manny
It's my boss' secretary's evil twin!

Eva
Just me, honey.

Manny
It's a slide projector.

Salvador
Manuel. I was looking at that.

Manny
Where does this go?

Salvador
To a secret tunnel out of the city, but...

Salvador
It opens for members of the LSA only.


INT. Glottis' Workshop DAY


Manny
Hey, what did they do with Glottis?


INT. Garage DAY


Manny
I'm not going upstairs!

Manny
I want them to think I'm still locked in the shop!


EXT Ledge DAY


Manny
Shoo!

Manny
I don't have a net, or a desire to have a pet pigeon.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
I'd get crumbs all over.

Manny
The Bread of the Dead.

Manny
Hmmm... Dom's office is empty.

Manny
Ah hah. There's nobody in Domino's office.


INT. Domino's Office DAY


Manny
Desk drawers? I don't have desk drawers!

Manny
What the?

Manny
There's something glowing in there.

Manny
It's looks like a glowing hunk of coral.

Manny
No messages in Dom's fancy red tube.

Manny
Nothing else in there.

Manny
I'm going to try to guess his password...

Manny
Nope. It's not "GOLDEN BOY."

Manny
I'm going to try to guess his password...

Manny
And it's not "MR. D" either.

Manny
So much for "DOMMY."

Manny
What a jock.

Manny
No use for it.

Manny
(Sigh.) My old door.

Manny
I can't go strolling through the halls now...I'm on the lam!

Manny
"Congratulations, Domino, on your new job! -- Hector"

Manny
"Congratulations, Domino, on your new job! -- Hector"


EXT Ledge DAY


Manny
Shoo!

Manny
The drapes are drawn--Dom and Don must still be in there.

Manny
I can't even imagine a way to use coral there.

Manny
I can't even imagine a way to use coral there.

Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.

Manny
Shoo!

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.

Manny
I can't even imagine a way to use coral there.

Manny
That ladder goes to the roof.

Manny
It's the loose end of the rope made of ties.

Manny
It's pretty long, though...

Manny
I wonder if that's how Domino meant it to be used.


EXT Roof DAY


Manny
I don't have a net, or a desire to have a pet pigeon.

Manny
This oughta scare them...

Manny
Fearless little smog-squabs.

Manny
This oughta scare them...

Manny
Hey!

Manny
Fearless little smog-squabs.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
Maybe that will scare them... Eventually.

Manny
Yeah, beat it you lousy little ledge-peckers!

Manny
So that's where the vermin come from.

Manny
You must come with me, young ones, for I am the Grim Reaper.

Manny
Man, are those pigeons gonna be ticked!

Manny
Man, are those pigeons gonna be ticked!

Manny
These babies are going to war!


EXT Ledge DAY


Manny
You'd have to be crazy to climb on that.

Manny
You'd have to be crazy to climb on that.


EXT Alley DAY


Manny
Agent Calavera, and two guests.


INT. L.S.A. Headquarters DAY


Manny
Check these babies out.

Salvador
EXCELLENT, Manuel!

Salvador
With these, I can breed an entire ARMY of winged messengers!

Salvador
Our revolution can spread now across the land, carried on the shimmering wings of justice, thanks to you...

Salvador
...Agent Calavera!

Manny
I, myself, would also like to spread across the land...

Salvador
But you can't. We need your dental work here to access the computer.

Salvador
I'm sorry, but freedom has its price!

Manny
Look, you got the eggs you wanted, now can I go?

Salvador
Sorry, but your teeth... the revolution depends on your teeth.

Salvador
Viva la Revolución!

Manny
Look, you got the eggs you wanted, now can I go?

Salvador
Sorry, but your teeth... the revolution depends on your teeth.

Salvador
Viva la Revolución!

Manny
Why won't you help me out?

Eva
I need your teeth, remember?

Manny
Salvador seems to be concentrating.

Manny
Look, you got the eggs you wanted, now can I go?

Salvador
Sorry, but your teeth... the revolution depends on your teeth.

Salvador
Viva la Revolución!

Manny
This computer is shut off.

Manny
It won't budge.

Salvador
It opens for members of the LSA only.

Manny
It's my boss' secretary's evil twin!

Eva
Just me, honey.


EXT Street Festival DAY


Manny
I have to go. That sound makes me want to kill somebody.

balloon twister
You too?

Manny
I'll just take a little more bread, to honor the dead.

Manny
My kid wants another balloon animal.

balloon twister
Ah geez. What now?

Manny
Can I have another cat?

balloon twister
Did you lose the one I gave ya?

Manny
No.

balloon twister
Well, then just enjoy that one for a while longer, all right?

Manny
I'll have another dingo, please.

balloon twister
Did you lose the one I gave ya?

Manny
No.

balloon twister
Well, then just enjoy that one for a while longer, all right?

Manny
Do you have any more dead worms back there?

balloon twister
Look, if I give you any more of those, you'll be able to go into business for yourself.

balloon twister
So forget it.

Manny
My kid wants another balloon animal.

balloon twister
Ah geez. What now?

Manny
Bet you can't do Robert Frost again.

balloon twister
Did you lose the one I gave ya?

Manny
No.

balloon twister
Well, then just enjoy that one for a while longer, all right?

Manny
Can I have another cat?

balloon twister
Did you lose the one I gave ya?

Manny
No.

balloon twister
Well, then just enjoy that one for a while longer, all right?

Manny
I'll have another dingo, please.

balloon twister
Did you lose the one I gave ya?

Manny
No.

balloon twister
Well, then just enjoy that one for a while longer, all right?

Manny
Do you have any more dead worms back there?

balloon twister
Look, if I give you any more of those, you'll be able to go into business for yourself.

balloon twister
So forget it.


EXT El Marrow Freeway On Ramp DAY


Manny
I'm not walking on the freeway!

Manny
I shouldn't even be STANDING here...


EXT Entrance to the Department of Death DAY


Manny
I'm not going in there!

Manny
They still think I'm locked up, hopefully.


INT. Garage DAY


Manny
It's locked.


INT. Glottis' Workshop DAY


Manny
Oh, ick.

Manny
It came out like soft-serve ice cream, but judging by the smell, I think it's auto-body filler.


INT. Garage DAY


Manny
Can't go through on foot.

Manny
People have tried, but they never came back.

Manny
I'm not going upstairs!

Manny
I want them to think I'm still locked in the shop!

Manny
Who's afraid of a little rusty water?

Manny
Who's afraid of a little rusty water?

Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.

Manny
A deck of cards just wouldn't help there.

Manny
That's not on fire.

Manny
That wouldn't be a very good use of this special ceremonial bread.


EXT Alley DAY


Manny
Agent Calavera here.


INT. L.S.A. Headquarters DAY


Manny
Look, you got the eggs you wanted, now can I go?

Salvador
Sorry, but your teeth... the revolution depends on your teeth.

Salvador
Viva la Revolución!

Salvador
Manuel. I was looking at that.


INT. Domino's Office DAY


Manny
"ARROGANT FRAUD" doesn't work...

Manny
Whew. I was scared it might be "EVA."

Manny
Well, he likes "BOXING" too, but that ain't it.

Manny
Not "GREED."

Manny
Desk drawers? I don't have desk drawers!

Manny
No messages in Dom's fancy red tube.

Manny
He's got a lock on it!

Manny
I can't believe he doesn't trust me!

Manny
Cheap, paper-mill diplomas!

Manny
No use for it.

Manny
What a jock.

Manny
What a jock.

Manny
It's Domino's mouthpiece.

Manny
Acch. Domino had this in his mouth.

Manny
Eccch!

Manny
Well, now I know what Domino tastes like.

Manny
It's Domino's mouthpiece.

Manny
Why am I carrying this around?


EXT Alley DAY


Manny
Agent Calavera here.


INT. L.S.A. Headquarters DAY


Salvador
I'm not sure what to make of that.

Salvador
Why don't you show it to my intelligence officer?

Eva
What's that?

Manny
Domino's mouthpiece. Think you can get a dental impression off of it?

Eva
No, the plastic's so hard he didn't leave a mark.

Eva
What's that?

Manny
Domino's mouthpiece. Think you can get a dental impression off of it?

Eva
No, the plastic's so hard he didn't leave a mark.

Eva
What's that?

Manny
Domino's mouthpiece. Think you can get a dental impression off of it?

Eva
No, the plastic's so hard he didn't leave a mark.


INT. Glottis' Workshop DAY


Manny
Fil-a-Dent: good for dents, great for dentures!

Manny
It's already full of that stuff.

Manny
Wow, that made a perfect impression of my teeth.

Manny
..and left quite a chalky aftertaste, too.


EXT Alley DAY


Manny
Agent Calavera here.


INT. L.S.A. Headquarters DAY


Eva
Manny, this looks like a perfect impression of your teeth.

Eva
We can use this as a mold to make a fake set of teeth, and get into the computer system that way.

Salvador
Good work soldier.

Salvador
You are a friend of the revolution, Agent Calavera, and now...

Salvador
...let me be of service to you.



(Love is for the living)


Salvador
You must go to the town of Rubacava, my friend, if you want to find your lost soul.

Manny
How do YOU know where she is?

Salvador
I don't. But everyone who wants to get to the Ninth Underworld must cross the Sea of Lament, and therefore must go to Rubacava to get passage on a ship. As long as you get there before she does, you'll find her, but it may be quite a wait.

Manny
I'll wait as long as it takes.

Salvador
Manuel? Are you...

Salvador
...in love with her?

Manny
Love? Love is for the living, Sal. I'm only after her for one reason...

Manny
...she's my ticket out of here.


EXT Edge of the Petrified Forest EVENING


Manny
That was some tunnel--I'm all the way to the edge of the Petrified Forest!

Manny
That Salvador really knows how to do this espionage thing with style.

Manny
After all I did to get out of town?

Manny
I am NEVER going back to that place again!

Manny
At least, not without Meche.


EXT The Petrified Forest EVENING


Glottis
Waaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaah!

Glottis
A-hoo hoo hoo...

Manny
Glottis, my friend!

Manny
Why are you crying?

Glottis
Manny?

Glottis
Oh, Manny!

Glottis
They fired me!

Glottis
Waaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaah!

Manny
Me too, buddy!

Glottis
You don't understand, Manny!

Glottis
I was created just to do that job! It's the only thing that makes me happy!

Glottis
It's like they reached into my chest...

Glottis
...and pulled out my heart!

Glottis
And threw it into the woods to...

Manny
Glottis! What have you done!

Manny
Oh Glottis...



(Flying spiders descend on Glottis' still-beating heart)



EXT Spiders' Lair EVENING


Manny
Oh, no...

Manny
Oh, ick.

Manny
Shoo!

Manny
These spiders have Glottis' heart in their web!

Manny
Ugh! It's stuck in there good.

Manny
It's an ugly pile of bones, like me.

Manny
I guess I could always use a spare.

Manny
Soup's on!

Manny
Hmmmm...

Manny
They don't seem very interested in that bone I put in there.

Manny
It's an ugly pile of bones, like me.

Manny
There's already a bone in there.

Manny
There's already a bone in there.

Manny
Ugh! It's stuck in there good.

Manny
Oh, poor spiders. No more demon heart to eat.


EXT The Petrified Forest EVENING


Manny
Nah, it's too well-anchored.

Manny
This sign post seems to be pointing the way to Rubacava.

Manny
It's still beating.

Manny
I wonder how long he can live without a heart?

Glottis
(Gasp) AH HEART! HEART IS GOOD!

Glottis
BE GOOD TO HEART!

Glottis
DON'T TEAR OUT HEART!

Glottis
HEART IS GOOD!

Glottis
STRONG BEATING GOOD HEART.

Glottis
Hey, is that my car?



(Don Copal is sprouted)



EXT Ledge DAY


Domino
Mr. LeMans, I assure you the missing woman will be found. I will personally track her down myself.

Hector
Just like you personally picked her up from the Land of the Living?

Domino
That was my intention, but Agent Calavera somehow got to her first.

Hector
We gave you the fastest car, Domino. We gave you all the best clients. You had all the advantages, so how was this Calavera able to sneak in there and eat your lunch?

Copal
Oh, now Hector, you can't get too mad at Domino. That wasn't his fault--

Hector
Oh, I can, Don. You should know I CAN get too mad. But not at Domino. After all, he wasn't in charge of this operation.

Hector
At least, not until now.

Copal
Hector! No!

Copal
Agggggggk!

Hector
Marigolds... Hm. Funny...

Hector
For some reason, I was expecting tulips. Well, maybe Mr. Calavera, eh, Domino? Why don't you personally go down to the basement and escort him up here? The sooner he's sprouted and we can get back to business, the better.


EXT The Petrified Forest EVENING


Manny
Wanna go for a ride?

Glottis
I thought you'd never ask!

Glottis
OH!

Glottis
Sorry.


EXT Confusing Clearing EVENING


Manny
Hey, wait a second...


EXT Tree Farm EVENING


Manny
Híjole Mano!

Manny
What sort of unholy Christmas tree farm is this, Glottis?

Manny
Glottis?

Glottis
Manny, check out this wheelbarrow, will ya?

Glottis
With a couple ATV nubbie tires on the back and a two-stroke lawnmower engine, we could make one SWEET go-cart!

Manny
Hmmm.

Manny
There's no door on this trailer. I think it's just a big generator.