Grim Fandango Dialog Transcript

Grim Fandango Dialog Transcript
© LucasArts Entertainment Company LLC. All rights reserved.

INT. Casino Floor NIGHT

Manny Hoy! Que alivio!
Manny I can't remember the last time I had access to a men's room.
Manny I'm okay for now.
Manny I think this is his good side.
Manny Going up?
Tube-Switcher Guy This elevator goes up straight to the penthouse suite of Hector LeMans.
Tube-Switcher Guy Mr. LeMans, he only do the business with the very select, elite clientele.
Manny I think this is his good side.
Manny Yeah, right!
Manny I'm select, and I'm VERY elite!
Tube-Switcher Guy You look like you work in a meat locker to me, pal.
Manny These aren't my regular clothes!
Tube-Switcher Guy Well, when you get your regular clothes, I'll give you the regular treatment.
Manny Out of my way! I'm in SHOW BUSINESS!
Tube-Switcher Guy What show?
Tube-Switcher Guy Yukon Follies?
Tube-Switcher Guy Ha ha ha!
Manny Look, I just want you to understand that I'm totally sympathetic...
Manny ...to the extremely intense power trip you're on, but--
Tube-Switcher Guy Beat it!
Tube-Switcher Guy Or should I say, "MUSH?" Huh-huh!
Manny Hey, weren't you once a tube switcher repairman?
Tube-Switcher Guy Yeah, but they took out that whole tube system...
Tube-Switcher Guy It kept getting jammed. Not my fault.
Tube-Switcher Guy Now, finally, I am free to pursue my one true desire.
Manny Elevator operation?
Tube-Switcher Guy YES.
Manny Johnny Thunder isn't gonna be happy about this.
Tube-Switcher Guy Maybe Mr. Thunder needs to spend more money on wardrobe.
Manny Johnny Thunder isn't gonna be happy about this.
Tube-Switcher Guy Maybe Mr. Thunder needs to spend more money on wardrobe.
Manny I can't go strolling through the halls now...I'm on the lam!
Manny I wonder if she's intrigued by my new jaw.
Manny Buenos días.
Meche Back off, sleaze ball, or my husband here will bust your jaw.
Manny Not right now.
Manny Meche, it's me!
Meche Manny? That's some costume!
Meche Here...
Meche Help me get Mr. High Roller here into this sheet so we can get out of here!
Charlie Hey! Is that you young lady?
Charlie I'll get you!
Meche I'm going to punt this twerp the first chance I get!
Meche I'm going to punt this twerp the first chance I get!
Manny Not right now.
Manny I'm not here to sprout anybody except Hector.
Manny I'd better not expose my weapon in here...
Manny Probably security cameras everywhere.
Charlie You must be patient, my kitten, rrrrrr!
Charlie I'll escort you to your party, just as soon as my system pays off here...
Manny That's no way to treat an agent of the L.S.A!
Manny There can't be too much in here.
Manny No.
Manny I'd better save it.
Manny Something strange is going on under that raincoat.
Manny Hey, what's going on under that raincoat?
Gambler I don't know, what's going on under that makeup...
Gambler ...AGENT CALAVERA?
Manny You? Didn't Salvador chop you in half earlier this evening?
Gambler Yes, which has given me this glorious opportunity to serve the cause...
Gambler ...by gathering funds for the L.S.A. while stealing from our arch-enemy at the same time!
Manny That's one dedicated soldier.
Manny What exactly are you doing with these slot machines?
Gambler I stick myself inside, like a finger down the throat of Hector LeMans himself!
Gambler And I make the machine regurgitate the wealth it has devoured!
Manny Ehhh.
Manny There's a machine over here that seems unbeatable...
Gambler That one with the sucker planted in front?
Gambler Tell me when he gives up, and I'll make it cough cold change!
Manny That's one dedicated soldier.
Manny Don't think so.
Manny There's a machine over here that seems unbeatable...
Gambler That one with the sucker planted in front?
Gambler Tell me when he gives up, and I'll make it cough cold change!
Manny Not right now.
Manny There can't be too much in here.
Manny I'd better save it.
Manny That's no way to treat an agent of the L.S.A!
Manny I'd better not expose my weapon in here...
Manny Probably security cameras everywhere.
Manny Don't think so.
Manny Don't think so.
Manny I'd better not expose my weapon in here...
Manny Probably security cameras everywhere.
Manny I'm not here to sprout anybody except Hector.
Manny Hola!
Charlie No drinks for me, thanks!
Manny What's Chowchilla Charlie doing here in Hector's casino?
Manny I knew that suitcase full of counterfeit tickets wasn't his!
Manny He always did love the slots.
Manny I wonder if she's intrigued by my new jaw.
Manny Er, Why do you want to get him into a sheet?
Meche I told him there was a big toga party at the Casino Romano, but he had to wear this sheet to get in.
Meche After he changes, you take his suit and go upstairs, get it?
Manny Hmmm, you're trickier than I thought.
Manny I wonder if she's intrigued by my new jaw.
Charlie Not again!
Charlie I'll get you!
Meche I'm going to punt this twerp the first chance I get!
Meche I'm going to punt this twerp the first chance I get!
Manny I wonder if she's intrigued by my new jaw.
Manny Not right now.
Manny There can't be too much in here.
Manny I'd better save it.
Manny That's no way to treat an agent of the L.S.A!
Manny I'd better not expose my weapon in here...
Manny Probably security cameras everywhere.
Manny I'm not here to sprout anybody except Hector.
Charlie You must be patient, my kitten, rrrrrr!
Charlie I'll escort you to your party, just as soon as my system pays off here...
Manny I know this guy--he can play the slots for days...
Meche He said as soon as this machine pays off, he'll come with me.
Manny Here.
Meche No, I've tried already, it's your turn!
Charlie Not again!
Charlie I'll get you!
Manny Special assignment just in from Salvador!
Manny Crack that machine and leave the change, right away!
Gambler YES SIR!
Charlie I did it! My system worked! I knew it! I told you!
Meche That's great! Now let's go so you can buy me a drink at the Romano!
Manny I'll meet you at the train station with the tickets.
Manny There won't be one for me, so you'll have to go back by yourself.
Meche I'll tell that gate keeper everything. He has to help us!
Charlie Come, my lovely, I have another infallible system I'd like to demonstrate. Rrrrr...
Manny Little tight in the shoulders, but at least it doesn't reek of sled dog.
Manny I can't go strolling through the halls now...I'm on the lam!
Manny I'm here to conduct business with Hector LeMans.
Manny I just spoke with him on the phone, and he's expecting me.
Tube-Switcher Guy You know Hector LeMans, eh?
Tube-Switcher Guy Hokie-dokie! Then answer me this ONE simple question...
Tube-Switcher Guy Uh.... okay.
Tube-Switcher Guy How many times has Hector LeMans unsuccessfully run for Mayor?
Manny ...two.
Tube-Switcher Guy Ooooh, sorry! Ha-ha!
Tube-Switcher Guy I guess you don't know Hector LeMans like I know Hector LeMans.
Manny All right. Let's go, Buddy.
Tube-Switcher Guy Uh.... okay.
Tube-Switcher Guy What is Hector LeMans favorite PRIME number?
Manny ...five.
Tube-Switcher Guy Ooooh, sorry! Ha-ha!
Tube-Switcher Guy I guess you don't know Hector LeMans like I know Hector LeMans.
Manny All right. Let's go, Buddy.
Tube-Switcher Guy Uh.... okay.
Tube-Switcher Guy What is Hector LeMans' personal record for simultaneous cigar smoking?
Manny ...thirty.
Tube-Switcher Guy Ooooh, sorry! Ha-ha!
Tube-Switcher Guy I guess you don't know Hector LeMans like I know Hector LeMans.
Manny All right. Let's go, Buddy.
Tube-Switcher Guy Uh.... okay.
Tube-Switcher Guy How many casinos does Hector LeMans own?
Manny ...nine.
Tube-Switcher Guy Yeah, well...
Tube-Switcher Guy ...that was an easy one.
Manny Too bad. I win.
Tube-Switcher Guy Best two out of three.
Manny Don't mess with me, I know Hector LeMans.

INT. Outside Hector's Office NIGHT

Manny I'll bet Hector pauses here every day, and thinks to himself...
Manny "Boy I wish I could see past my gut and enjoy my expensive monogrammed floor!"
Manny Looks like Celso found his wife after all.
Manny Celso Flores?
Manny What are you doing in Hector LeMans' waiting room?
Celso Oh, he sent us out here to make up our minds about his offer...
Celso Who are you, if you don't mind me asking?
Manny Actually, I work for Hector. He sent me to answer your questions.
Celso Eh--I'll handle this my sweet one.
Celso What can you tell me about these "Double-N" tickets?
Celso This price seems much more than "double..."
Manny It's a scam. The tickets are counterfeit. Take your money and run.
Celso Ho ho ho!
Celso Don't try any of that tricky "reverse psychology" on me, my friend!
Manny Well, they COST a mint, because they SAVE you a mint.
Celso Well I don't HAVE a mint, so what do I care?
Manny The real question is, don't you feel that you're worth it?
Celso I know WE'RE worth it, but are the TICKETS worth it?
Manny What exactly are you saving your money for? A rainy day?
Manny 'Cuz let me tell you--You're dead.
Manny Every day is rainy from now on.
Celso Yes, but that's no reason not to be careful with your money!
Manny Well, enough about you guys, let me tell you about my problems.
Celso Actually we have a lot of talking we need to do so...
Manny This makeup breathes about as much as vulcanized rubber!
Celso Yes, but it brings out your strong jaw.
Manny I can't raise my arms in this suit!
Celso Well, let's just hope no one pulls a gun on you tonight, huh?
Manny I just got back from the worst vacation I've ever had!
Celso Actually, I just got back from quite an adventure myself, so...
Manny Well, I'm sure you've seen flying spiders and flaming beavers, but trust me, it gets worse!
Manny You see, I've been to the edge of the world and back...
Celso I had no idea traveling the Land of the Dead was so fraught with peril!
Manny Now how much would you pay, just to skip the whole thing?
Celso Darling, come.
Celso Let us blow our nest egg, together.
Celso Mr. LeMans, we've decided to take you up on your generous offer.
Hector Excellent! Excellent!
Hector The little lady changed your mind, eh?
Celso No, actually it was your agent over there.
Hector Well, ah, uh, of...of course, heh, he's one of my best! Uh-hah-mmm-hmm!
Hector Well come on in and let's chat, shall we?
Manny (sigh)
Manny Still got it.
Hector I don't know who you are, and I don't know what spell you cast on the Flores couple...
Hector But stick around...
Hector Once I'm done with them, there's something across town I'd like to show you.

(Manny is guided back to his former office)

(Hector falls from the roof)

EXT Roof NIGHT

Hector Am I talking about just a job here? Or am I talking about opportunity, in the general sense?
Hector We've had a lot of openings in this office in the last couple of years, and frankly we've had trouble filling them. I could really use a closer like you on the team.
Hector This could be your office.
Hector Here. Try this on. See how it feels. That's yours too.
Hector And, as an added bonus...
Hector Two percent of these, Mr. uh...
Manny My name's Calavera, and I want a bigger cut.
Hector Hm-mm-mm,huh,uh,ah,oh, but Mr. Calavera... I'm going to need most of these to get myself out of this world. You see, I've been a very bad boy. Ha ha!
Manny I'm going to deliver those tickets to their rightful owners...
Manny ...and I'm going to deliver you to the compost pile.
Manny Ay, Chihuahua!
Manny The old place looks deserted inside.
Manny They're screwed shut!
Manny Hello? Pigeons?
Manny Friends now?
Manny I bet I could get over to the other roof on the leg of this sign...
Manny ...but the leg's pointed too far down, and it looks like Hector blew the motor.
Manny I think using that old gargoyle as a structural support for glamour girl here was a BAD idea.
Manny There can't be too much in here.
Manny I'd better save it.
Manny I'm saving my ammo for the big guy.
Manny It's sproutella, not spackle!
Manny No, I have to get to that suitcase before the tickets blow away!
Manny They look bony to me, but she probably thinks they're fat.
Manny Too steep to climb.
Manny I don't want to mess up my blade.
Manny There can't be too much in here.
Manny I'd better save it.
Manny I'm saving my ammo for the big guy.
Manny Can't sprout that.
Manny I think using that old gargoyle as a structural support for glamour girl here was a BAD idea.
Manny There can't be too much in here.
Manny I'd better save it.
Manny Well, so much for my third arm.
Manny There can't be too much in here.
Manny I'd better save it.
Manny I'm saving my ammo for the big guy.
Manny Well, it was going to happen eventually!
Manny Ay Chihuahua!

(The Raven attacks at the train depot)

Manny That one must be yours.
Glottis Don't forget to send for help!
Meche Ahhhhhhhh!
Manny Oof!
Manny Ay! Run! Find Salvador!
Olivia Get in, quick!
Manny We were supposed to have coverage back there! Where are all of Salvador's men?
Olivia I don't know.
Olivia He hasn't told me yet.
Manny Hola, Manuel.

EXT Meadow NIGHT

Olivia Time for you to swing, Daddy-O.
Olivia Let's see you walk.
Manny These flowers... all people Hector has sprouted?
Olivia Hey, when you're on top, like my boyfriend Hector is...
Olivia You make a lot of enemies.
Olivia What?
Manny You know, you have really bad taste in men.
Olivia No, I have a taste for really bad men...
Olivia There's a difference.
Manny Hmmm...Hector supplies water to keep the flowers alive?
Manny Does he see them as a memorial, or as trophies?
Manny Not thirsty.
Manny Yeah, right!
Manny There can't be too much in here.
Manny I'd better save it.
Manny It's a hand-held grinder.
Manny This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.

(Manny confronts Hector in his greenhouse)

Hector She loves me...
Hector ...she loves me not...
Manny Well, you're half right.
Hector Oh Manny... so cynical... What happened to you, Manny, that caused you to lose your sense of hope, your love of life?
Manny I died.
Hector I see, hm-mm, I guess Domino was right, you don't have a shred of optimism.
Manny Well, when it comes to shreds, Dom is the expert.
Hector And by that same logic, Manny, you're about to become an expert in botany.
Manny Is this where you tell me all about your secret plan, Hector?
Manny How you stole Double-N tickets from innocent souls, pretended to sell them but really hoarded them all for yourself in a desperate attempt to get out of the Land of the Dead?
Hector No.
Manny Ugh!
Hector Hee-ah, huh, uh, huh...This is where you writhe around in excruciating pain for about an hour because that idiot Bowlsley ran off with all the fast-acting Sproutella.
Hector This slow stuff WILL sprout you, but it's going to take a long time, I'm sorry to say.
Manny Aggk!
Manny Aggh!
Hector Manny? Where are you going? You've got some time, you know, before you have to...leave. Ha ha ha!
Hector Get it? Leave! Ha ha ha!
Manny Argh!
Manny Ughh!
Manny Ogh!

EXT Flowers Close-up NIGHT

Manny Eeeeeh!
Manny Aaaaaggh!
Manny Aaah.
Manny Gracias, Toto Santos!

EXT Meadow NIGHT

Olivia Come on, shake it for me, baby!
Olivia One of you must be mine!
Olivia Rrrrr.
Manny It's all gone!
Manny He truly gave his body to the cause.
Salvador Manuel, listen carefully!
Salvador There is a gun in the trunk of this car, but the trunk key is with my body, somewhere in the meadow behind the greenhouse!
Salvador Find it!
Manny Right!
Salvador And tell Eva that I know she will guide the Alliance wisely when I am gone.
Salvador For when I bite this explosive tooth, the deadly cloud will sprout not just my target...
Salvador ...But me as well.
Manny Your target? What are you--
Olivia Hey! Get out of there!
Salvador Farewell, my friend!
Olivia What were you talking about with the HEAD of the L.S.A. in there?
Olivia Huh, Sal? Got something you want to share with the class?
Salvador Only this...
Salvador VIVA LA REVOLUCIÓN!
Salvador
Olivia Aaaaaah!
Salvador Aah!
Olivia Aaaiiie, aaaaahhh!
Manny He truly gave his body to the cause.
Manny He's fine right where he is.
Manny He's fine right where he is.
Manny Nothing like the real McCoy.
Manny Hey!!
Manny My scythe.
Manny Well what do you know... Sal had a ticket all along.
Manny Nothing like the real McCoy.
Manny Figures. Doesn't seem to be one for me.
Manny After I deal with Hector.
Manny This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.
Manny This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.
Manny This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.
Manny It's all gone!
Manny It's all gone!
Manny I don't want to mess up my blade.
Manny My scythe--I like to keep it next to where my heart used to be.
Manny This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.
Manny This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.
Manny I'm not going in there until I'm packing some chlorophyll.
Manny Not picking that up.
Manny I don't want to mess up my blade.
Manny My scythe--I like to keep it next to where my heart used to be.
Manny I don't want to mess up my blade.
Manny Not thirsty.
Manny Yeah, right!
Manny Hmmm...Hector supplies water to keep the flowers alive?
Manny Does he see them as a memorial, or as trophies?
Manny It's all gone!
Manny It's all gone!
Manny Nothing like the real McCoy.
Manny I hope the L.S.A. got a good deal on this car!
Manny It's locked.
Manny I left my tow truck back in my other suit.
Manny I'm not going in there until I'm packing some chlorophyll.
Manny I'm not going in there until I'm packing some chlorophyll.
Manny This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.
Manny This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.
Manny This must be Hector's murderous mausoleum.
Manny I'm not going in there until I'm packing some chlorophyll.
Manny Hmmm...Hector supplies water to keep the flowers alive?
Manny Does he see them as a memorial, or as trophies?
Manny Not thirsty.
Manny Yeah, right!
Manny Figures. Doesn't seem to be one for me.
Manny After I deal with Hector.
Manny Nothing like the real McCoy.
Manny I don't want to mess up my blade.
Manny It's all gone!
Manny It's amazing how Salvador's ticket is still drawn to him!
Manny It's amazing how Salvador's ticket is still drawn to him!
Manny It seems to be attracted to something over this way.
Manny I don't really want to do that.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny I don't really want to do that.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny I don't really want to do that.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny I don't really want to do that.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny I don't really want to do that.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It seems to be attracted to something over this way.
Manny It's not doing anything now.
Manny It seems to be attracted to something over this way.
Manny It seems to be attracted to something over this way.
Manny It seems to be attracted to something over this way.
Manny This must be the key to Salvador's trunk.
Manny I already searched him pretty thoroughly.
Manny He's fine right where he is.
Manny I already searched him pretty thoroughly.