Grim Fandango Dialog Transcript
© LucasArts Entertainment Company LLC. All rights reserved.
(Introduction)
INT. Manny's Office DAY
Manny
Hmmmm... ¿Qué es esto?
Manny
Looks like I got a message.
Manny
Looks like I got a message.
Manny
It's some sort of special work order...
Eva
To: All agents. From: Office Manager Don Copal.
Copal
All right you boneheads, thank your lucky stars and get to your freakin' cars!
Copal
We have a mass poisoning on our hands!
Copal
Too many dead to assign specific cases, so all clients are FIRST COME FIRST SERVE!
Copal
So, let's see some hustle out there!
Manny
Whatever you say, jefe.
Manny
Here's Celso's file.
Manny
That walking stick was too good for him.
Manny
My computer gives me instant access to our database of deadbeats.
Manny
Here's Celso's file.
Manny
That walking stick was too good for him.
Manny
It's some sort of special work order...
Eva
To: All agents. From: Office Manager Don Copal.
Copal
All right you boneheads, thank your lucky stars and get to your freakin' cars!
Copal
We have a mass poisoning on our hands!
Copal
Too many dead to assign specific cases, so all clients are FIRST COME FIRST SERVE!
Copal
So, let's see some hustle out there!
Manny
Whatever you say, jefe.
Manny
This end cabinet is where I hang my cloak.
Manny
This end cabinet is where I hang my cloak.
Manny
Nothing in there but my cloak.
Manny
Eh, I'm going to let it air out some more.
Manny
My boss is always giving me these motivational sales books...
Manny
"They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows," stuff like that.
Manny
Better take these cards-- it looks like a long day of solitaire for me.
Manny
I couldn't play this card there.
Manny
My boss is always giving me these motivational sales books...
Manny
"They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows," stuff like that.
Manny
My boss is always giving me these motivational sales books...
Manny
"They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows," stuff like that.
Manny
Wasn't too long ago that the name on the door was, "Supply Closet."
INT. Hallway DAY
Manny
(Sigh.) My old door.
Manny
Domino's door is locked.
Manny
Probably scared I'll steal one of his files.
Manny
Not a bad idea, actually.
Manny
It's my boss' secretary, Eva.
Eva
It's my boss' whipping boy, Manny.
Manny
Buenos Días.
Eva
Manny? Why aren't you at the poisoning?
Manny
What poisoning?
Eva
Yeah, the code three gazpacho poisoning that everybody's at but you!
Eva
Why do I send out memos if no one reads them?
Manny
Where was the poisoning again?
Eva
Just ask your driver for crying out loud. He'll know.
Manny
Any messages for me?
Eva
Besides the one about the poisoning?
Manny
Yeah.
Eva
I only have one other message for you, Manny...
Eva
I'm not your secretary!
Eva
I don't take your messages!
Eva
So get it through your thick skull, and stop forwarding your phone to me!
Manny
Alright, but that sounded more like FOUR messages to me.
Manny
In my heart, though, you're still my secretary.
Eva
Manny, what are you talking about?
Eva
I was NEVER your secretary, even when you were on top.
Eva
I got one boss, same as you--Don Copal.
Manny
Come on. I know you work for another man besides Don.
Eva
Wh--
Eva
Wh...What are you talking about?
Manny
I know you take memos for Hurley some times.
Eva
Ah, Manny. Just beat it, will ya?
Manny
Busy as ever, I see.
Eva
I'd have more work to do if you had more clients.
Manny
Ouch!
Manny
Where is everybody?
Eva
Oh, Manny, did you forget what day it is today?
Manny
Oh, man. Did I come in on Saturday again?
Eva
It's the Day of the Dead!
Eva
Everybody's back in the Land of the Living, visiting their families, like we should be.
Manny
Why aren't you visiting your family today?
Eva
Ah, the boss is here so I gotta be here.
Eva
How about you, Cal?
Manny
No one back there I want to see.
Eva
...and you don't want Domino here alone, getting all the good leads.
Manny
Domino's here?
Eva
He's at the poisoning right now, stealing your commission.
Manny
So... you going to the Christmas party?
Eva
After the spectacle you made of yourself last year?
Eva
I wouldn't miss it for the world!
Manny
Any good gossip?
Eva
Well, I heard Domino got a raise.
Manny
Por favor. Tell me some good news, why don't ya?
Eva
I still love you.
Manny
You're all I really need, Belleza.
Manny
I forget... am I supposed to be somewhere right now?
Eva
Manny, do I have to explain your job to you again?
Manny
No, but I'd like to hear your description of it, just for kicks.
Eva
Well, the Manuel Calavera that I know picks up people in the Land of the Living...
Manny
Dead people.
Eva
Preferably.
Eva
And he brings them here and tries valiantly to sell them the best travel package they qualify for.
Eva
If he sells enough premium packages, our hero will be free to leave the Land of the Dead.
Eva
Until then, he and I are stuck here...
Eva
...having the same conversation...
Eva
...over and over again for eternity.
Manny
Well, enough about me. What's your job like?
Eva
Like babysitting, except I don't get to watch TV.
Manny
Why do some clients qualify for better travel packages?
Eva
They led good lives.
Manny
Que traes! How do you define a "good" life?
Eva
Better than yours and mine.
Manny
So, what did you do in life to get stuck here?
Eva
What I did back in the fat days is none of your business. You know the rules.
Manny
What if we just skipped town tonight?
Manny
You and me, baby!
Eva
Thanks for the offer, but we'd never make it out of the city alive.
Manny
But...
Eva
In one piece, I mean.
Manny
I bet I could get out, if I really tried.
Eva
Oh, Manny. Look at you.
Eva
You're a trapped soul, and you don't even know it.
Manny
Just one more question about my job...
Eva
Manny, you know what to do.
Eva
Stop playing dumb just to flirt with me.
Eva
Manny, if you don't mind, I've got a lot of filing here to do...
Manny
Right. Hay te huacho.
Manny
It's my boss' secretary, Eva.
Eva
It's my boss' whipping boy, Manny.
Manny
Ah, the big, golden door to mediocre management.
Eva
A little respect for our fearless leader, please.
Manny
Why? I've worked here longer than he has, you know.
Eva
And you're proud of that?
Manny
Hmmm. Good point.
Eva
Big Mr. Boss Man doesn't want to be disturbed today.
INT. Garage DAY
Manny
There are lights for "Wash," "Rinse," "Wax..."
Manny
...and "Land of the Living" depending on your destination.
Manny
The driver-demons operate this somehow, and the company won't tell us salesmen how it works.
Manny
Gotta keep us down somehow.
Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.
Manny
Who's afraid of a little rusty water?
Glottis
Hey! Who the--
Glottis
Who's messing with my stuff?
Glottis
Oh, heh, sorry, sir! I didn't expect...
Glottis
Sales agents usually don't come over to this part of the garage...
Manny
Hey, you a driver?
Glottis
Me?
Glottis
Ha!
Glottis
No.
Glottis
No no no.
Glottis
I don't ride 'em. Just wrench 'em.
Manny
I'm Calavera. Manny Calavera.
Glottis
My name's Glottis.
Glottis
I don't get many visitors--Hey! I got a message for a Mr. Calavera...
Glottis
Uh...
Glottis
...your driver said...
Glottis
...that Mr. Hurley said...
Glottis
...that he could have the rest of the day off.
Manny
Domino sent my driver home?
Glottis
Yeah, wasn't that nice?
Manny
Looks like I need a new driver.
Glottis
OH!
Glottis
I...
Glottis
UH... I!
Glottis
Uh... I, would agree with that.
Glottis
Yes you do.
Manny
Glottis... Glottis... Is that a German name?
Glottis
Oh, no. My roots lie not in any Earthly nation's soil.
Glottis
I am an elemental spirit summoned up from the Land of the Dead itself and given one purpose, one skill, one desire:
Glottis
to DRIVE.
Glottis
Or, to change oil and adjust timing belts, if no driving jobs are open.
Manny
Nice hut.
Glottis
Yeah, I wonder how nice it would seem to you if you were TRAPPED in it all day like me.
Manny
If you hate your job, why don't you quit?
Glottis
It's not just a job. It's what I was created to do.
Glottis
If I get any farther away from cars than this, I'll get sick and die.
Glottis
It's like I'm not happy unless I'm breathing in the thick, black, nauseating fumes...
Manny
Hmm. Can't imagine.
Manny
You want to be my replacement driver?
Glottis
ME?
Glottis
OH, oh, no. Sorry.
Glottis
Can't.
Glottis
Rules.
Manny
Come on, Glottis. I need you to be my driver.
Glottis
No, I can't. I'm... I'm...
Glottis
I'm too big.
Manny
You're not too big. The cars are just too small.
Glottis
Yeah! Those dang compact cars--
Glottis
Hey! That gives me an idea!
Glottis
I could alter your car just a bit--with just a quick torch job to let out the seams, you know?
Glottis
Ah, but I'm not allowed to modify the cars without a work order from upstairs.
Glottis
I could lose my job.
Manny
A work order, huh?
Glottis
Yeah yeah yeah!
Glottis
I can't torch anything bigger than a cigarette without one of these signed by the boss himself.
Manny
Hey, that's my line--getting people to sign.
Manny
Back in a snap.
Glottis
Yeah, too small! I'm not too big!
Glottis
Everything around here is just too small!
Manny
It's a tool cabinet.
Manny
That won't help it get signed.
INT. Lobby DAY
Manny
Ah, the old head of the department...
Manny
Way before my time.
Manny
I heard he was a total slave-driver.
Manny
How's it hanging?
Manny
Not that I have a choice, but I wonder if I'd be happier working on a ship.
Manny
Then again, I'm so competitive, I wouldn't be able to relax until I was captain...
Manny
Not that I have a choice, but I wonder if I'd be happier working on a ship.
Manny
Then again, I'm so competitive, I wouldn't be able to relax until I was captain...
Manny
That's the door to the packing room.
Manny
It's locked.
Manny
That's the door to the streets of El Marrow.
EXT Street Festival DAY
Manny
Looks like some sort of crafty mime.
Manny
What's goin' down, clown?
balloon twister
Hey, back off, Suit.
balloon twister
I'm practicing.
Manny
Practicing what?
balloon twister
Wringing your neck, what does it look like?
Manny
Twist me up one of them, eh fella?
balloon twister
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Twist this, all right?
Manny
Bet ya can't do a cat.
balloon twister
Shows what you know, buddy.
balloon twister
I can do anything.
balloon twister
I can do birds, amphibians, famous poets--Go ahead. Name one.
Manny
Robert Frost.
balloon twister
Trying to stump me, eh?
balloon twister
Ta-da.
Manny
My kid wants another balloon animal.
balloon twister
Ah geez. What now?
Manny
Okay, a cat.
balloon twister
Pfft. No problem.
balloon twister
Ta-da.
Manny
Can I walk through your tent? I want to see the parade.
balloon twister
Well, walk through someone else's tent, all right? Do I look like a turnstile to you?
Manny
Some festival, eh?
balloon twister
Yeah, yeah. Pretty busy.
balloon twister
My carpal tunnel syndrome is really acting up.
Manny
But you don't have any... tendons...
balloon twister
Yeah, well you don't have a tongue but that doesn't seem to shut you up, now does it?
Manny
Could you teach me how to do that?
balloon twister
Well, um, since you're a beginner, why don't you practice the first step?
Manny
Which is?
balloon twister
Blow!
Manny
BANG!
balloon twister
Aaah! Popped another one!
balloon twister
Lousy bony fingers!
Manny
I have to go. That sound makes me want to kill somebody.
balloon twister
You too?
Manny
Those crates are completely blocking the sidewalk.
Manny
What if there were a fire?
Manny
They're just full of party favors, and I'm not in a party mood.
Manny
Looks like some sort of crafty mime.
Manny
The Bread of the Dead.
Manny
Since I really didn't get to celebrate the festival this year, I think I'm entitled to a little Pan de Muertos.
EXT Alley DAY
Manny
I don't like the way that eye is looking at me.
Manny
I don't like the way that eye is looking at me.
Manny
Hello?
Manny
Hello?
Manny
That's the door to the garage.
Manny
It's huge. I can't open it.
Manny
It looks like a rope...
Manny
...but it's really just a bunch of cheap ties tied together.
EXT Ledge DAY
Manny
It's the loose end of the rope made of ties.
Manny
It's pretty long, though...
INT. Copal's Office DAY
Manny
This place is a mess!
Manny
I would love to search Don's office right now, but I'm late for the poisoning!
Manny
It looks like Don's rigged his computer to automatically answer his intercom...
Manny
I'll just change his auto-response here...
Copal
It'll have to wait! I'm in the middle of a very important meeting!
Copal
Are you trying to lose your job?
Copal
If you buzz me again, I swear I'll jump out this window!
Manny
Just thinking about Don's file "system" gives me a cold chill.
Manny
No time to ransack! Everybody's at the poisoning but me!
Manny
No time to ransack! Everybody's at the poisoning but me!
Manny
More junk I don't have time to look through...
Manny
If I go out that way, everyone will know I was snooping around in here.
Manny
Just thinking about Don's file "system" gives me a cold chill.
Manny
So, this is where Copal sends out all the work orders.
Manny
Why don't any of the good ones get to my office?
Manny
He's got a lock on it!
Manny
I can't believe he doesn't trust me!
Manny
"To all Employees of the Department of Death, Bureau of Acquisitions:
Manny
Employees who have made their sales quotas are invited to take the Day of the Dead as a holiday...
Manny
...as long as they make up the time lost on the following weekend." Idiota!
Manny
"To all Employees of the Department of Death, Bureau of Acquisitions:
Manny
Employees who have made their sales quotas are invited to take the Day of the Dead as a holiday...
Manny
...as long as they make up the time lost on the following weekend." Idiota!
Copal
Ah, cripes, Eva! Just sign it yourself, will ya? I'm busy!
EXT Ledge DAY
Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.
Manny
I don't want to mess up my blade.
INT. Hallway DAY
Eva
What is that horrible squeaking noise you're making?
Manny
New shoes.
Manny
Eva, I really need the boss to sign this work order.
Eva
I'll give it a shot.
(Glottis drives Manny to the Land of the Living)
INT. Diner DAY
Manny
Ehhh, the living still give me the creeps.
Manny
Bound only by the paper-thin wrapper of mortality, a soul here lies, struggling to be free.
Manny
And so it shall, thanks to a bowl of bad gazpacho, and a man named Calavera.
Manny
I can't use my bare hands. I'm a professional.
Bruno
Nice bathrobe.
(Manny gives Bruno an economy travel package)
INT. Lobby DAY
Manny
I'm sick of waiting around for a good lead, like it's going to fly in here tied to a brick.
Manny
It's time to TAKE one.